Crazy Random Happenstance

Billy: So good... Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?
Penny: I love it!
Billy: You're kidding? What a crazy random happenstance!
-Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fairy Vampire Brides.

Well, I have had a whole night and an entire morning to process last night's season 6 (I can't believe we are six seasons down already) finale of True Blood and here is my main thought about it; I don't get it.

I don't get it.

I was going to post something about it on Facebook to get your thoughts,  but for fear of stirring up spoilers for those who have not yet watched the enigma of that episode or of the entire season, I retreat to my blog. So, I'm going to throw out another SPOILER ALERT just in case because I am about to spout off about what I liked and didn't like about the season. And just a warning... This will probably be ranty and rambly and a little disjointed. Not unlike the season itself.

Here we (I) go:

I don't know what the point of this season was. The first year it was Bill and Sookie, the second year it was The Fellowship of The Sun and Maryann, season three was Sookie looking for Bill, who was with Russell Edgington, the 4th season was Eric losing his memory and those stupid witches, last season was all that Lillith crap and this season? No idea. Warlow, I guess? OK, I'll start with him... Warlow who they have been talking about for the past two seasons and finally brought to light this season (and whom I REALLY, really liked, by the way), only to see him killed, almost without any struggle at all, halfway through the finale? Warlow, who was promised Sookie thousands of years ago and was going to make her is Fairy/Vampire Bride?? Huh?

Sam and that girl? I say "that girl" because I have no idea what her name is and I don't feel like looking it up. She was Michelle's friend on Full House, I know that. That will help you know who I am talking about. I guess she was there with her friends to research Shifters and Werewolves? They were recording a fight between Alcide and his pack (UGH) and the wolves flipped out and killed two of the friends but Michelle Tanner's friend was saved by Sam. Who also saved his dead girlfriend, Luna's daughter, Emma from the pack but I don't know why the pack wanted her. I guess because she's a wolf, they figured they had a right to keep her? I don't know. Anyway, Luna died, Sam saved Emma and that girl and they went to a motel to hide. Sam and that girl have sexytimes (LITERALLY one day after Luna dies. I mean, really?!) and they decide to give Emma to her creepy grandma for safe keeping. Alcide's pack wants Sam and the girl dead (again, I don't know why) and Alcide decides to stop growling all the time and has a change of heart and lets them go. Maybe his hair was finally getting to him? Maybe his throat hurt from all the growling he's been doing, so that's why he lied to his pack and those two awful, awful girls and told them he killed them. They knew he was lying, so he left the pack. He's his OWN wolf, guys!! Then he started lurking around Sookie the last two episodes. It wasn't really explained why. He missed her, I guess. I just don't know!

Terry died. He had one of his old war companions shoot him, right after Arlene had a vampire wipe his memory of all the bad things. So we got to see him happy finally and then get dead two scenes later. It wasn't unexpected but it was sad. I really liked Terry. I thought he was a great character and he made me smile. I know a lot of people were annoyed by the super long funeral/flashback episode they did for him but I loved it. It was such great insight into all of the characters. Lafayette's was my favorite. I just thought it was really sweet.

Oh, I  know! The governor and the vampire jail he had built. That was the point of the season, right?? All our favorite vamps were captured by the vampire police and analyzed and experimented on. There was a lot of standing around and Sarah Newlin was in on the captures, helping the Governor until Billith came and killed him, so she took over. Sarah Newlin makes me laugh. Sarah and Steve Newlin crack me up. I'm never disappointed when they are on the screen. We find out later that Sarah and The Governor were having the new supply of True Blood injected with "Hep-V", a serum lethal to all vampires.

I guess the point of Bill turning into Lillith was for him to save his friends once they were faced with their True Deaths and meeting the sun while in the vampire jail? He had Warlow's blood (who is half fairy, so he can walk in the sun), so he rescued the others by having them feed off his Warlow induced blood. Then he turned back into regular Bill. Oooookaaaaay.

Warlow professed his love to Sookie. They make sexytimes. She has feelings for him, considers becoming his fairy/vampire bride, ends up asking him if they can just date for awhile (LOLZ) and he.flips.out. Gets very angry, tries to make Sookie a vamp but she is saved by Jason (yay!) and her grandfather (yay.) and that is the end of Warlow. Three seasons that name or the idea of him has been on the show and now it's all done. I get it, they need to move the story along but damnit, I really loved Robert Kazinsky on the show.

Here's some random thoughts I thought at one point or another during the season:
-I don't like Jason's new vampire girlfriend, Violet. I don't like her at all.
-I loved Andy's storyline with his fairy babies and really, really like Adelein.
-I really like Willa. I hope she sticks around.
-Sam and that girl are having a baby.
-I love Jason Stackhouse so much.
-Bill is so useless to me.
-Is it just me, or did the secret fairy world look like it had been decorated by the entire silk floral department of Michael's?
-It was so nice to get a break from Pam and Tara yelling at everyone all the time.
-Steve Newlin met the true death and his parting words made me laugh so much. "I love you, Jason Stackhouse!" Don't we all, Reverend Newlin. Don't. We. All.
-This was probably the grossest season to date. 

We got a flashforward at the end of the episode. It was six months later. What did we discover from that?
-Sam is the mayor of Bon Temps. (Uhhh, sure)
-Sookie is with Alcide. He got a haircut. SOOKIE IS WITH ALCIDE. They were calling each other "honey" and "hon" and WHAT?
-Sam wants every citizen of Bon Temp and the surrounding areas to have a vampire chauffeur because there are tons of Hep-V infected vamps roaming the state. (I think)
-Jessica offered her protection to Andy and Adelein because she's feels awful for killing his other fairy daughters. (I love Andy a lot).
-They were testing everyone's blood... to see if they were a carrier for?? Hep-V? I don't know. I didn't understand that.
-Tara fed off her mom. (Gross)

And guys, the thing I am the most angry about. That I wanted to yell at my TV for:

Go ahead, change the story from the book. Don't keep it the same. Make the characters different. Change the love stories, but do not, DO NOT change the name of the damn bar that is the heart of the F'ing book and show. That is just wrong and makes me so angry.

And finally, the thing I have been avoiding and I'm sure you are all thinking "Hey Sarah, when are you going to mention that one part about that one vampire that we all love and whose story they left completely hanging?"


He's not dead, you guys. He's not. Pam will save him and we will have our Sheriff back. Because there is no True Blood without Eric. You can't keep annoying characters like Bill and Tara around and not have Eric. It doesn't work that way and the fact that they are trying to make us believe that he was indeed killed off, kind of infuriates me. It's gimmicky and it's lazy storytelling. It wasn't even a heroic death. Eric Northman would not die while sunbathing naked, reading a book in Alaska (or wherever he was). No. Stop it. Don't even try it.

He's not dead. He's just not. 

The episode ended with a hoard of Hep-V infected vampires descending upon Merlotte's (I will not call it Bellefleur's and you can't make me) to attack all the humans and vamps there.

Overall did I like the season? I really did. Aside from the Sam/Alcide stuff and a few minor things, I enjoyed the season a lot. Way way way way better than last year anyway. I have no idea what to expect from season seven. I'm not even going to speculate. This show has been so disjointed and all over the place, I have no expectations whatsoever.

So, what did you guys think? Am I alone in my complaints? Did you love what I loved? Was Warlow's love tree the tackiest thing you have ever seen? (Yes.)

Tell me your thoughts. Go.


  1. I know why you forgot that girl's name. It's because it has no H. How rude!

  2. Ha! Mostly I forgot it because I find her insignificant. But everyone knows that Nichole's with H's are way cooler.