Excoriation

If there were a contest for world’s best picker, (face, lips, fingers) I would win the gold medal. Ever since I was a kid, I have picked my lip and my fingers. Relatives and close friends/coworkers constantly telling me to stop. Most of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I always thought it was just a habit at the very least, or at most, a nervous thing. After doing some research on the google (and everything on the internet is true, you guys), it turns out that this is an honest to goodness condition. Excoriation, also referred to as chronic skin-picking or dermatillomania (say that ten times fast) is characterized by repeated picking at ones own skin. It is commonly related to obsessive compulsive disorder and mental illness. Apparently 1 in 40 people have this (or body-focused repetitive behaviors).

Almost 40 years old and I find out my thing is an ACTUAL THING. Which totally explains why these days I absolutely cannot stop picking my face. My skin does not like having to wear masks all day every day while at work and I don’t like that my skin doesn’t like it and so round and round we go in this stupid circle. I’m trying to stop it, but you know- stress. 

Real quick rant: 

Our neighbor keeps having his buddies over to drink beer and stand around his campfire. They attempt to stand 6 feet apart. I guess I appreciate the effort, but do you know how frustrating it is to work all day at a medical facility, wearing a mask, wearing gloves, sanitizing my hands and everything around me 447 times throughout the day, worrying if I’m bringing something home to my family, only to see my neighbors not obeying the whole stay at home order? It’s so frustrating. It’s like a slap in the face to all essential workers. It needs to stop. 

Please stay home. 

Dudes, just stay home! 

End rant. 

Happy things!

• John Krasinski’s Some Good News show on YouTube. He’s been uploading new episodes Sunday evenings. I adore him and them. They make me SO happy. 

Some Good News

• Joanna Gaines has a new cookbook! I cannot wait to get it because I love her. I have her first cookbook and it’s so so good. One day I will go to Texas and visit all of hers and Chip’s businesses and drink coffee and eat cookies at their bakery. Magnolia Table, volume 2

• Zach Braff and Donald Faison have a new Scrubs rewatch podcast! Fake Doctors, Real Friends

• Reese’s peanut butter eggs. All day, every day!

• Shipt!! I cannot thank those Shipt shoppers enough. We placed an order for groceries last Saturday around 1130pm and it arrived Monday evening around 730pm. My shopper was so great. She communicated with me and dropped all the bags off on the porch and then let me know when she was done. So so great. 

• Vanilla sweet cream cold brew from Starbucks. It’s so good and the closest thing to an iced fudge ripple that I’ve been able to find. 

• Lego Masters- Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox. Will Arnett is the host and it’s a lot of fun and he makes me laugh. The finale is next week! Lego Masters

• Charley started watching LOST and refers to Locke as “the magic grandpa” LOL

Try to have a happy Easter weekend, everyone. A lot of people are missing traditions and family dinners and brunches. A lot of people are going through a really hard time for one reason or another right now. Try to make whatever you end up doing memorable and fun and full of love! I’m going to attempt to make my parents chicken paprikash recipe. It was my favorite as a kid and I’m a little nervous about it. It could end up being a disaster or maybe it will be delightful! There’s always chocolate to fall back on if it turns out real gross. Ha!

Anyway, still trying real hard to stay positive. Writing here helps a bit, so if you enjoy reading my blatherings or if you’ve tried some of my suggestions or enjoyed yourself some Reese’s peanut butter eggs, I just want to say thank you. Clearly, it is a really awful time and we are all processing it in different ways and I truly appreciate you all bearing with me and my ranting. One of these days my posts will be filled with ALL happy things. Until then, we will get through this by staying home and trying to help each other. 

Also, tell me how to stop picking! K, thanks!

Give me some good things happening in your lives!

Perspective

I know a lot of people struggle with anxiety. Some of you may not know this, but Charley has struggled with it for a very long time. It’s so extreme at times that it practically paralyzes him when he’s in the moment. He has been learning coping mechanisms over the last few years and seeing a therapist (whom he adores) but through trying to help him readjust his ways of thinking, I’ve had to consider the fact that a lot of the anxiety he feels could be because he’s feeding off of me. I’ve never been one to have panic attacks but lord, I  have seen plenty of the people I love experience them. I’ve gotten pretty good at trying to bring some calm and quiet to those that have come to me when they’re anxious but I am realizing that while I may not have panic attacks, I have been living in a constant state of anxiousness. Maybe that’s the new norm these days? 

It’s been a weird week this week (but really, what isn’t weird these days?). I’ve had to really take a look at myself and try to figure out why/how I’m responding to this whole situation. I know there is so much right now that we cannot control, so I have been trying my damndest to let things happen as they’re going to but I don’t think I’m doing as good of a job with that as I originally thought. I think I’ve bottled up a lot of my fears and worries and anxieties and that’s probably not the best thing. I’ve been thinking of the worst possible outcomes for everything when I should probably be focusing on the positives. It’s easier said than done. There aren’t a ton of positives in the world right now, but maybe if we (*I*) try to focus on a few each day then it will make the trudge through this pandemic a little easier? I don’t know. Maybe it won’t, but it’s worth a try??

Last weekend I was whining to Jeff about the weather. I told him it felt like the universe was punishing us by giving us crappy weather when our only outlet was to go for a walk outside. His response? “Maybe it’s the universes way of trying to keep us safe and telling us we need to stay in our homes”. It’s all about perspective, people. You and only you are in charge of the way you see and comprehend a situation. You can choose to look at the negatives (much like I have been doing lately) or you can choose to see some good. Any good at all and it makes a world of difference. 

Some things making me happy right now:

• SUNSHINE! You guys. It is GORGEOUS outside today. 

• Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

 I love this show so much. Every time it ends I say to Jeff, “I love this show. It’s going to get canceled”. It is so funny and clever and heartwarming and just plain entertaining. Shows that are rich in all of those things usually don’t last for very long. It reminds us a lot of a show we used to watch in 2008 called Eli Stone, that only lasted 2 short seasons. If you are a fan of singing and cleverness and Lauren Graham, check it out. Also, Jane Levy, the star of the show, is phenomenal. 

• I ordered a new coloring book from Amazon. It’s a Beatles one. I’m very excited to start working on it. 

•This video of a little girl trying not to hurt her mom’s feelings made Charley and I laugh so hard. We watched it about 47 times in a row last night. 

• Potbelly has introduced something called Potbelly Pantry where you can buy their meats, breads, cheeses etc to make your own meals at home. You can order and pick it up or they will deliver it. I thought that was really neat. 

• A few people have posted about making a COVID Time Capsule. I think it’s such a neat idea. Here’s the link to the one circulating: time capsule,or I suppose you could get real creative and make your own from scratch?? I’m going to make Charley do one with me. I’ll post it later. 

• Charley and I started playing Animal Crossing. I haven’t gotten to do too much with it just yet but I will play more this weekend. (I made a succulent though and I was very happy about that!)

• Reese’s peanut butter eggs 

• Seeing my dog lay in the sun again

• We saw a bunny on our walk today! When we lived on Camden, our street was FULL of bunnies. We would count them every night we took a walk. We miss that about our old house. We were thrilled to see a bunny hop in front of us this afternoon! 

• When I was in high school I used to write in a journal every night. Every. Single. Night. It was so helpful and therapeutic for me. It helped me get through a lot of hard times. Now would be a great time to start journaling. There’s so many different ways to do it nowadays; good ol’ fashioned writing, blogging (ha!), bullet journaling, or you could even download a journal app (which I ended up doing and really like). 

• If you feel like helping your healthcare workers and doctors and nurses out, you can donate food or snacks or care packages to them while they’re working. I know they would appreciate the love and support. You can send cards and letters to patients admitted into the hospitals and you could do the same for your seniors in assisted living and nursing homes. Put some smiles on people’s faces. Everyone could use a smile these days. 

A few questions:

Teacher friends and family, with school being more or less canceled for the remainder of the year, how can we help our kids?? I’m struggling hardcore with this right now. How do I get my kid back on a routine of daily learning when I am not a lesson planner (and I still have to go to work every day)? What are some good advice, tips for us that we can do? Right now I am just trying to get Charley to check his school email every day without giving me an eye roll and a heavy sigh. (Tweens are FUN!)

• What is everyone doing to stay entertained these days? How are you coping with your stress/anxiety? What are you cooking?? What are you baking?? What has been your favorite quarantine snack so far??

Give Me Something Good

It’s been a very long time since I put any writing out there. Being swamped with work and moving and trying to get the new house in order. I sometimes forget how much it clears my mind and makes me feel better. I’ve been so sad and so stressed and so exhausted (we all have) I needed an outlet. I haven’t been able to read because I cannot get my brain to quiet. I haven’t been able to binge any shows because I can’t concentrate long enough to get invested. I cannot organize and clean because I am just not into it. I’m constantly checking my phone, but less for news and more for happiness and to check on everyone. I need smiles. I need laughter. I need heartwarming. I need hope. 

I am terrified for my sister in law and friends and family who have to face this head on every time they go into work. They are doing everything they can and some people are just not listening. I’m torn between being grateful to still be able to go to work and also being scared of going to work. Though it helps when I’m there with such wonderful people who are supporting each other through this madness. 

After a really nice night watching a movie with Jeff, I did the worst thing I could do (let’s be honest... I’ve been doing it every night) and checked my phone before going to bed. Reading all about the awful exchange between that horrible man and the governor. This isn’t about who’s being nice to who. This is literally about life or death. Thousands and thousands of people are dying and he is more concerned with who is giving him credit and who is praising him. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t watch him anymore. I wish they would stop showing his “task force updates” because they are harmful and enraging and completely useless. He only likes to hear himself speak. Just shut up and help your people. That’s all you have to do. Have some god damn compassion and give the country some god damn reassurance. Fuck. 

Sorry but not really because I’m so sick of it. 

Ok. Enough with that. I need happy things to keep my head above water. 

None of us know what we are doing and we are all exhausted. I’m so angry  and i’m so tired and every single thing makes me cry (poor Jeff). I crave happy content. I crave creative content. I crave kind content. Anything that gives me even the smallest spark of hope; Give me it. 

Here are some things that have been helping me get through this nightmare in no particular order:

•Chef Michael Symon is doing a daily 5pm cooking class with ingredients from his pantry. He posts all the recipes and alternatives on his instagram so you can do the same with whatever you have in your pantry. 

•Jason Priestley and his wife have been posting what they’re making every night for dinner with the hashtag carbskillcovid, which I love. Because carbs. 

•Ben Folds is streaming a live concert tomorrow at 9am. I’m setting my alarm on a Sunday for this. 

•Brady smith (Tiffani Thiessen’s husband) is doing a daily 30 second drawing challenge on Instagram and taking requests from kids. It’s so cute. 

•Livonia has a weekly scavenger hunt for kids to look for hearts, helping hands, bears etc. in windows when out for walks every day. 

•Chalk art. Some of the chalk drawings being posted are seriously phenomenal. It makes me smile every time I see it 

•Going for walks with bryn and seeing how happy it makes her 

•When charley joins us for walks

•Watching movies/tv with Jeff 

•FaceTiming my parents 

•My tech leaders, Sarah and Eileen. I can’t say enough about them. Working their asses off (on days off too no less) in the middle of all this chaos and maintaining a calm and positive attitude through it all. If you ask me about them in person (6ft away of course) I’ll cry. I’m so grateful for them. I can’t say it enough. 

•Jeff’s manager, Sarah (and my friend) who has worked endlessly to keep her employees engaged, entertained and SANE during their off time. She is an inspiration 

•Harry Potter marathons

•Coffee. So much coffee being had. 

•My sunroom. Just a room with windows, but my god does it make me happy

•The late night hosts doing mini shows from their homes; Jimmy kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. It makes me so happy to see them trying to provide people with just the smallest amount of normalcy right now

•Cookies. I’ve always enjoyed making my cookies for other people but last night I made one batch for us and that made me happy 

•Giant cookie pans to bake my cookies. I bought some a few weeks ago and I love them so much

•Delivery services and Door Dash 

•Food network app (a lot of food things on this list, I know, but aren’t we all just eating all the time??) 

•Charleys teachers checking in with him online 

•Reeses peanut butter eggs

•Checking in with my brother and sister as much as I can. All of us are stressed in different ways but it’s so helpful to talk/text with them

•Checking in with former coworkers to see how they’re doing 

•MOD is offering free delivery all weekend 

•Coloring. It’s one of the only things that I can do to distract my brain. I’ve been printing off sheets online because my adult coloring books are still in boxes. I will take what I can get at this point

•Animal videos. Oh my god, the amount of dog and animal accounts I follow on Instagram and Twitter right now is ridiculous but it’s also super super great

What is helping you guys cope through this?? Let me know because what makes you happy might make me happy too. 

Movies jeff and I have watched so far: Yesterday (loved it and rewatched it the following day)

Knives Out (so good. So clever)

Once upon a time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino is a weirdo but it was entertaining)

Take a break from the news. Don’t listen to what the president is saying. Listen to the doctors and nurses. Listen to THE GOOD stories. Listen to the people in the thick of it and HELP THEM. Listen to the people who know what they are doing!! Donate if you can, volunteer if you can. Be nice to those grocery store workers and carry out places who are also risking their lives to give you those essentials every day. Whatever makes you happy, do that. 
Send some love to my sister in law, Rhonda, for working her ass off:

Thanks for putting up with my worries and my fears and my frustrations. As crazy as social media can be, I think we are all pretty damn thankful for it right now. 

Happy links:

Michael symon instagram: https://instagram.com/chefsymon?igshid=pjywggifn4j8

Brady smith Instagram: https://instagram.com/bradysmithhere?igshid=10prsij3dpxel

Jimmy Fallon: https://instagram.com/jimmyfallon?igshid=170jku67jy88m

Jimmy kimmel: https://instagram.com/jimmykimmel?igshid=3idjhw5fvt7

Detroit zoo live feeds: https://detroitzoo.org/penguins-live-cam/  https://www.clickondetroit.com/features/2020/03/18/watch-live-otters-swim-play-at-detroit-zoo/
Livonia weekly scavenger hunts:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/2793472040772761/?ref=share

Stay home. Stay safe. 

Give me something good. 

Crushing

Quick note: Haven't blogged in awhile and don't have the patience to try to fix whatever is going on with this weird color scheme, so whatevs, I apologize.

Childhood crushes are weird, aren’t they? You fixate on this person you see on television, or in a band or movie, (or book!) and you become obsessed. Watching them every week as if every performance they put on is just for you. Getting annoyed when you hear another girl has the same crush as you because YOU are their number one fan and no one else is. Knowing you’ll probably never meet this person, but also knowing full well that they would be madly in love with you if you did. 

As a tween, my room was covered in posters. Ask my sister; We shared a room and I very slowly took over her side of the room by removing the only poster she had put up by her bed (a pink poster of Maggie Simpson) to hang a picture of Chris Osgood, or Mike Vitar, or mark Paul Gosselaar, or of the 90210 cast, or Pearl Jam, or or Christian Slater.

I've had a weird couple of weeks with my childhood crushes as of late-

My very first crush was Peter Tork of The Monkees. When I was 6 or 7, they showed reruns of the show on Nick at Night and my brother and I were obsessed. For Christmas, I received a keyboard and an autograph book and Dennis wrote something about how I was going to be playing like Peter Tork in no time (I never did). I thought Peter was adorable and goofy and he had the cutest hair. Because I was a child, I didn’t realize that I was watching a 20 something Peter in reruns and that the actual Peter Tork was in his 40’s, but it didn’t matter. He was silly and cute I adored him. His passing a couple weeks ago brought back a plethora of memories of my first concert, having our own Monkees concerts in our living room on a Saturday night and putting glittery heart stickers around his face on my Monkees albums. It makes me sad that he’s gone but I really do have the best memories of loving him. 

Motor City Comic Con announced that Mark Paul Gosselaar, AKA: Zack Morris, is going to be at Comic Con this May. You don't even realize how much I loved Saved by the Bell (or you probably do. At the time it felt like I was the only person in the world who watched it). I would rush home from school every single day to sit in my office (the couch) to watch reruns for hours and eat potato chips and drink Coke, all while staring googly eyed at Zack Morris. I was devastated when him and Kelly broke up like it was MY actual relationship. When he took her to prom in jeans and a sweatshirt and danced with her outside even though she didn't have the money to buy a dress? Swoon. This is the first time I have actually considered paying the absurd amount of money they charge at these things for a photo op. I'm still debating. I feel like I need to do it. Tween Sarah would be so pissed at 38 year old Sarah if she didn't, right?

This past weekend it was announced that there is supposed to be a television version of The Sandlot with the original cast (MIKE VITAR!) set in the 80's. When I was 13, my best friend and I sent a care package full of love letters and poems and a (her) bra to Mike Vitar. I'm sure he didn't think we were crazy at all. Right? I still remember walking up to the post office and mailing the box. We were so giddy about that box. We totally thought it would make him fall in love with us. 

Speaking of tween Sarah...As I became a tween and 90210 was all the rage, I struggled with whether it was cool to like it or not. I secretly loved the show but didn’t want anyone to make fun of me for liking it... even though EVERYONE loved it at the time (tweendom is a weird time, guys. Lots of things going on in your head that don’t make sense.) Anyway, I had 90210 shirts and calendars and buttons and folders and a pillow with Dylan McKay’s face on it. I eventually decided that Brandon was my favorite because Dylan was a bad boy and he drank and did drugs and the worst thing Brandon did was gamble... except for when that tramp Emily Valentine secretly slipped him some E and he got high, but that wasn't his fault! (Hey, they didn’t call me goody two shoes in school for nothing!) Bad boyness aside, there was no denying how handsome Luke perry was and as angry as I was at him for breaking Brenda’s heart; “I hate both of you! Never talk to me again!”, I knew he was the one who truly belonged with Kelly (Brandon belonged with Susan Keats and in my mind, they eventually got back together after she left him for that job in Washington DC and broke his heart). Seeing Luke pop up over the years in movies (Buffy the vampire slayer) and videos (The Killers) and the hallmark channel (Love in Paradise) and eventually on my beloved Riverdale as Archie’s dad, Fred Jones, made my heart happy. He was so good on Riverdale. So. Good. He was my favorite part of the show (along with Jughead) and I loved seeing him be the father figure to Archie. I once again looked forward to watching him on my television every week. 

It’s not fair that he was only 52. It’s not fair that his family has to endure this. It’s not fair that the generation who grew up with him all feel like part of their childhood has died. It’s not fair that this new generation of kids and adults who just rediscovered his talents have to go on without him now.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.

Pop culture is this fantastic escape for us. This alt reality where we turn our brains off for an hour or two (or 6) every night. We relate to these characters who don’t actually exist and root for them like they are our best friends. We invest our time in them and don’t necessarily expect anything in return, other than to be entertained. And when that escape turns real and we lose those people or those characters it’s so hard to process. We don’t know these people but we feel like we do and we are devastated just the same when they are gone. It sucks you guys. It sucks.

A few years ago Carrie and I held a Facebook poll: Dylan McKay or Brandon Walsh? If I remember right, I think Carrie won. And now, I will take this time (many years later) to graciously concede my defeat. Dylan McKay was superior to Brandon Walsh.  

I mourn with all of you out there today. He was too young and it was too soon and damnit, it’s just not fair.

Go watch some 90210 reruns or Buffy the vampire slayer or ride a horse in remembrance of him. I don’t know how to watch Riverdale without him now. I’m so sad. It’s just so damn sad.

A Magical Gathering 6.27.2003

When we got married 15 years ago, we made a cd for all of our guests and used them as place holders at the reception. They contained a variety of songs handpicked by Jeff and myself that do a pretty good job of representing our relationship and the happiness we shared.

If you feel like perusing our song list, take a look below!

1. Storybook Love by Willy DeVille
From The Princess Bride, one of mine and Jeff's most favorite movies of all time. Deep in our hearts we have always wanted to be part of a fairytale. Sometimes I guess we get to pretend like we are in one by going to the Renaissance Festival, or watching Hallmark movies, or reading about knights and dragons and other realms. Amidst all the adventure and mayhem (and rodents of unusual size) in The Princess Bride, at the heart of the story is the love between Princess Buttercup and Westley. And that my friends, is why we picked this song for our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Scott. It doesn't get much more lovey dovey than that, my friends.

2. I'm a Believer by The Monkees
The Monkees were the first band I ever fell in love with. My first concert. My first crush (long before Mark Paul Gosselaar and Zack Morris, there was Peter Tork). We were introduced into the reception with this song playing in the background.

3. Golden Years by David Bowie
Not only is this a fantastic song, it was in the 2001 hit movie, A Knight's Tale, starring Heath Ledger (long before he was The Joker,) Paul Bettany (long before he was Vision,) Alan Tudyk (prior to Firefly,) Mark Addy (way way before Game of Thrones,) and Shannyn Sossamon (before she was in Rules of Attraction with James VanDerBeek.) We love this movie. We. Love. This. Movie. We watch it every time it's on-- Watched it two nights ago in fact. It makes us laugh and smile every single time and damnit, it just makes us happy.

4. Mary Mac by Great Big Sea
There are several versions of this song. This one is our favorite. It's just a good time and it makes your toes tap. And it's a silly song about marriage, so what's not to like?

5. Have a Little Fun With Me by Glen Phillips
This from a kid's cd called For The Kids that was a compilation of children's songs by a bunch of artists we loved. We did not have Charley at the time, but we thought the songs were so clever and fun and who knows? Maybe we had future visions of playing it for our Chuckster without even knowing it at the time.

6. Come What May by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman
This is from the movie Moulin Rouge! Listen, part of being in a secure, healthy relationship with someone is accepting the fact that your loved one will have crushes on celebrities and sports players and musicians. Ewan McGregor is that crush for me and the fact that Jeff let me add this super smushy romantic love song on our cd is a true testament to what a stand up guy he is. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MOVIE?? If not, man, I am sad for you. It's a lovely song and I dare you not to go all gooey when you hear Ewan's voice (Nicole's voice is perfectly acceptable as well.)

7. Warm Love by Van Morrison
Who doesn't like Van Morrison? In the tradition of love songs, this one is a great one. Just listen to the lyrics.

8. She's a Rainbow by The Rolling Stones
If I remember correctly (and I think I do,) my niece (our flower girl,) Emily, liked dancing to this song. Me, wanting to do whatever I could to make her smile, included it because it made me think of her. Also, it's a great song.

9. Magic Dance by David Bowie
You guys, I don't really need to explain this one, do I? It's MAGIC DANCE and it's from my most favorite movie of all time, Labyrinth. I love it and Brian Froud, who Jeff has always loved, designed the goblins for the movie, so it has lots of special meanings for us. You totally want to go watch it now, don't you?. Go ahead. I approve.

10. Stay (Wasting Time) by Dave Matthews Band
Before These Crowded Streets was HUGE when Jeff and I first started dating. We listened to it all the time. This was one of our favorite songs off the album.

11. The Wonder of You by Elvis Presley
I didn't want to do the typical, Butterfly Kisses, daddy/daughter dance. I wanted a song from an artist that represented some of the music from when I was growing up, so I chose this one. One that was a little more upbeat and fun- You know, the kinds of things that describe my dad. Upbeat, fun and a good ol' rock and roller.

12. We Can Work it Out by The Beatles
Our bridal party was introduced to and danced to this song. it's not your usual song to dance to, but it's The Beatles and it wasn't slow and boring. And let's face it, us Scotts are anything but slow and boring! Right???

13. Sea of No Cares by Great Big Sea
We really really really liked Great Big Sea back then. 

14. Bobcaygeon by The Tragically Hip
The Hip represent so much to us as a whole. Phantom Power was released in the early days of us dating and we listened to it so so much. Gord's voice and his lyrics will never cease to amaze me. This song will forever and always remind us of those early days.

15. What a Good Boy by Barenaked Ladies
BNL was such a huge fixture for me at that time (you know, before Steven went and ruined everything). Carrie and I were obsessed and went to every show we were able to. We chose this song because my favorite (Break Your Heart) was obviously about a breakup and well that would simply go against this whole feel good, love theme, now wouldn't it?

16. Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
We adored this song.

17. Walk On the Ocean by Toad the Wet Sprocket
This is one of those really perfect songs. It's sentimental and easy to sing along to and it was our way of representing our little PPC family with Carrie.

18. The Hoppity Song by John Ondrasik
This is another song from that For the Kids cd- I told you we really loved this cd... This song is so much fun! That's it. And when Charley was old enough to listen and appreciate music, he loved it as well.

19. Ooh La La by The Young Dubliners
We saw these guys in concert years ago and had an absolute blast. They were energetic and had amazing stage presence. I bought a shirt that was mint green and said "Dubs" on the front. After the concert, the band members were milling about talking with fans and they were so nice and so appreciative and it's a great memory. Also, this whole album is fantastic.

20. Memories by Elvis Presley
Jeffrey danced with his mom to this song. You just can't go wrong with a little Elvis, am I right? It was the perfect mother/son dance.

There you have it. Those are our songs. And on this, our 15th wedding anniversary, I don't think I would change a thing. Happy Anniversary to us O'Scottahans, eh?!

37

My usual tradition to get ready for my birthday every year is to create an ultimate wish list, complete with attainable (shirts and books and whatnots) and not so attainable (hanging out with Andrew Lincoln, being serenaded by Ben Folds) things. I skipped my list last year because, well... I'll be honest, I just wasn't in the mood. Things in my own world and the world at large were pretty shitty and I didn't have it in me to prepare a list of things that seemed so far off the mark at the time.

A whole year has passed. And yes, the world is a scary place right now and things are balls out nuts, and my family has had one of the absolute craziest years to date, but all of the insanity and chaos and awfulness and freak accidents and weirdness has brought me to a very thankful place. I am so grateful for all of the good things and bright spots in my days that when the ickiness happens, it just makes me all the more appreciative for the smiles in my life.

So, instead of a wish list of 37 things for my 37th birthday, I am going to give you a list of 37 thank yous to celebrate my 37th year on this lovely little planet.

Feel free to contribute your own thank yous to my list and hell, start your own list. Making lists is fun and therapeutic!

1. My mom and dad- My parents are just really great people. Really great people who take excellent care of their family and friends. I will never be able to repay them for their kindness and support and just for listening to me vent, complain and cry when I need to. I'm very lucky to have them.
2. Coffee- It just makes me happy. The smell, the taste. Just the thought of coffee is happy times.
3. Eternal Tattoo (and Doug Bickle!)- for making mine and Natalie's first tattoo experience one of the absolute best memories I will ever have. 
4. My Dearborn Ophthalmology family- for being astoundingly awesome when Jeff had his fall/surgery. Between having to take sudden time off and being an absolute mess at work at times, they were supportive and understanding and always willing to give me a hug and make me laugh, or buy me coffee.
5. On that same note, I'll give a huge thank you to everyone at the Westland OptimEyes/Ophthalmology. It is so rare to find a place of work with so many wonderful, generous, giving, kind people. Who would have thought that when I first worked in that office 13 years ago, that to this day, they still remain like a family to Jeff and I. 
6. U-Scans- It's that whole me not wanting to interact with other people thing. It's just easy and convenient.
7. My mother and father in law- When Jeff got hurt this past summer, he literally couldn't do anything when he got home from the hospital. My mother in law came over every day for two weeks to help him and Charley, so I could go to work. My father in law came over so I could attend some events I was supposed to go to. Parents taking care of their kids... It doesn't stop at 18, folks!
8. Game of Thrones- For being one of the most visually stunning, creative, insanely well written series of television I have ever watched. You guys. IT'S SO GOOD. 
9. Carrie- for being my LYBF and constantly, constantly listening to me, making me laugh, having really great conversations with me, loving my kid like her own, and for getting me out of the house when I needed it and finding an alcoholic beverage that I actually really enjoyed!
10. Busy Phillips Instagram stories- I could have a really crappy day, or just be being feeling super blah and sit down and watch her instagram stories and they just make me so happy. She's funny and self deprecating and so pretty and her kids are adorable and I love her take on the world. Sometimes when I see something weird happening when I'm out, or read something online, I think to myself , "What would Busy think of this?" Seriously, if you don't follow her, follow her. She is a joy.
11. Natalie- for being one of the strongest people I know and making me laugh and being so excited when I surprised her with our tattoo appointments. For always wanting to cheer me up and for always wanting to help me out and for always tagging me in ridiculous memes. For teaching me how to poach eggs... and getting me out of the house when I needed it.
12. The Starbucks mobile app- I didn't order a pizza over the phone until I moved into my own house. I didn't go through a fast food drive-thru until I was 18. I have this weird anxiety about ordering things from people I don't know. That's why online ordering was invented for me!! It's the best thing ever. But you know what's even better??? BEING ABLE TO ORDER MY COFFEE ON MY PHONE AND THEN HAVE IT WAITING FOR ME WHEN I GET TO THE STORE. I don't have to talk to anyone!! And no matter how weird my order is, I just type it into that little handy app and voila! It's sitting there on the counter waiting for me, with my name on it (spelled correctly.) It's like magic. COFFEE MAGIC.
13. Dawn- for being one of the best friends a girl could ask for. For calming me when I was sitting in a waiting room for 5 hours while Jeff was having surgery and bringing my kid McDonalds when she was very pregnant... and for getting me out of the house when I needed it. 
14. The Gong Show- This stupid, stupid show that they brought back from the 70's made us laugh our asses off. It's absurd and stupid and can be completely awesome at the same time. From Tommy Maitland (Mike Myers) to the different judges every week, we looked so forward to sitting down for an hour every week and turning our brains off. After all, it was just for funsies! I really hope they bring it back next summer.
15. Bill- This dude came over every week from August to October and cut our grass because he said it was stupid for us to have to pay someone to do it. Even though him and my bff were getting ready for their first baby, even though he worked 40 hours a week, even though he was busy every weekend, he still showed up and did it for us every week. I can't tell you how lucky we are to have a friend like that. He's an awesome guy and we will never be able to thank him enough for that.
16. The Ranch- My parents kept telling us to watch this show on Netflix. With Ashton Kutcher, Debra Winger, Danny Masterson and Sam Elliott. We watched it right after Jeff's surgery and it made him laugh out loud for real. It made me happy to see him happy after all the doom and gloom with his hand and arm, and to be honest, it really is a good show. We still have a few episodes to go but we really enjoyed it.
17. Ben Folds- Through all the concerts and all the music and all of his projects, he has remained consistently entertaining. He's brilliant and clever and funny and he is so damn talented. I absolutely adore him.
18. Harry Potter- Because Freeform is always having a Harry Potter weekend, because Charley and I are re-reading the series, because when people ask me questions about the books or movies it makes me so happy and because there is always something magical around to remind of it. It brings people together and it makes people read and it is just constant. Always guaranteed to make me smile.
19. The Office- At Chuck's request we have been re-watching the series. Mine and Jeff's second go round and C's first. I was obsessed with this show for so many years. It is so cool to see Charley laugh at all the things we laughed at, cringe at Michael when he's awful, roll his eyes at Dwight and root for Jim and Pam the way we all did when it originally aired.
20. The Tragically Hip- I've talked about them before so I won't get all gooey about them again, but with the recent passing of Gord Downie, I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be able to say, "I saw them live." I was able to see Gord sweat his ass off and sing his ass off and shoot hoops like he was playing basketball. I was able to see him sing my favorite song, Ahead By a Century, live and I am so fortunate to be able to share those stories with Charley about how much his words and his voice meant to his dad and I. He was such a great guy and goddamn, it's so freaking sad that he's gone, but we were so lucky to have him for as long as we did.
21. Every single person who attended or contributed in some way to Jeff's FUNdraiser- I still cannot get over how fortunate we are to have so many thoughtful people in our lives. Jeff and I were so overwhelmed and humbled and grateful that night. You all blew us away. Seeing our families, friends, co-workers old and new and some people we didn't even know come to help us out was absolutely astounding and we are so so appreciative. 
22. Organizations like First Step and S.A.F.E. Haven- These places that help domestically abused women are so important. They donate their time and money to create a safe environment for women who have never experienced a safe, calm place before. They give them a starting point when they feel hopeless. They give them a home when they have nowhere else to go and more importantly, they give them hope. Hope is such an important thing for someone who feels lost and completely alone. They do such good work and the world is a better place having people like them in it.
23. Michael Ausiello and Zachary Levi- Every July I look so forward to San Diego Comic Con. No, not because I get to go, but because these two dudes have the best coverage of it on the internet. No one else feeds their fans the way these two do. They don't do the typical question/answer thing when it comes to the best pop culture news, they make it fun. And even though my beloved NerdHQ didn't happen this year, Zach still found a way to be involved and have his nerdom follow up with him. They are my pop culture heroes. 
24. My neighbors- The good ones, not the bad ones on the other side. They went above and beyond the day Jeff fell. Helping him call 911, calming Charley down and even destroying that asshole wasps nest so he wouldn't have to worry about it when he got home. They checked in with me every night and even gave me a big hug when I had a bit of a meltdown the first night Jeff was in the hospital. They are good people and even though we hate this tiny house that we live in, we are lucky to be next to such good people.
25. Dave and Chuck the Freak- They make me look forward to my morning drive to work. Sure, they can be pretty gross and inappropriate at times, but oh, how they make me laugh.
26. Little Caesar's $5 pizzas and crazy bread. You guys, it's just a really good deal. When I am at work all day, I don't feel like cooking by the time I get home and you know what is super easy and inexpensive? a five dollar fricken pizza. Yeah, it can taste like cardboard sometimes, but those days when it's piping hot, fresh out of the oven? Delicious. 
27. St. Mary's Hospital- Most of the people we encountered there from the emergency room to physical therapy were awesome. That's so huge when you're dealing with a medical crisis. It's huge. The ER nurse made us feel like we were her best friends and did everything she could to make Jeff comfortable. Not an easy task when your arm is the size of a large balloon animal.
28. Leftovers- I love leftovers because most of the time it means I don't have to make lunches for the next day. And you know why that's so great? Because I hate making lunches for the next day.
29. Charley- My Chuckster can be super awesome. He can also be super frustrating, but when he's super awesome, I am on top of the world. Like, last night, he was laughing so hard at me for doing a Donald Trump impersonation (I don't know why I was doing it. It was to make fun of him though, obviously) and anyway, he laughed so hard. That honest to goodness full belly laugh that made me laugh just as hard. I loved it. See? Kids are fun. 
30. SWORKIT- This is a stupid exercise app that I guess originated on that Shark Tank show. I love it because it lets me exercise at home, without having to embarrass myself in a gym and it makes me feel good about myself by presenting me with medals when I log in consistently and telling me how many calories I (probably) burned. The workouts are simple and they have examples of each exercise and sometimes Charley does it with me and that's cute. 
31. Chris Hardwick- I am thankful for him because he is a genuine fan of all the things he loves. Watching Talking Dead every week after WD makes me so happy because HE is so thrilled to be there interviewing the actors and talking to fans who are just as obsessed as he is. I love listening to his podcasts because he is an excellent, excellent interviewer. His excitement and nerdom brings me pure joy.
32. My poopers- Bristow and Bryn are really annoying sometimes, but you know what? They are dogs and most of the time they don't know any better. But really, they are great dogs and they make me feel better when I am sad, and some nights Bristow literally keeps me up all night long because he wants me to feed him breakfast at 2am or 3am or 4am, but sometimes he gets so excited when I pet him that his teeth chatter. And Bryn loves when I pet her so much that she'll knock me out, trying to paw at me to put my hand back on her head, but they are special and sweet and soft and cuddly and I love them a lot. 
33. Sleeping in on the weekends- I don't need to explain this one. It's the best, guys.
34. Bookstores- because I love being able to walk around and smell the books and look at the books and touch the books and see other people buying books. Just walking into a bookstore is enough to chill me out. Go buy some books. It's so relaxing. 
35. Google maps- because if I had to rely on a paper map or written directions to get anywhere, I would be absolutely screwed. Google maps is one of the best things to happen to this planet. The end. 
36. Hallmark Movies- All Hallmark movies for ALL seasons! I don't care if it's Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Fall, Spring, Summer or Winter- I will take whatever cheesy Hallmark movie they want to make forever and always. As long as Lacey Chabert and Candace Cameron want to keep starring in them, I will keep watching them. Jeff and I will spend entire Saturdays or Sundays watching movie after movie and you know what? It's great. You know what else? Charley absolutely hates it, hahahahahahahaha
37. My Fred- because even though he has had the worst last few months and had to endure an insane 5 hour surgery and can't move his fingers or hand, he still has a sense of humor. I may have to remind him to stay positive sometimes, but he's been working so hard to try to get back to 100% and I'm so proud of him for that. I love him, dead hand and all XOXO

There you have it. A small portion of my every day smiles. I know there is a running theme throughout this list that always ends up circling back around Jeff's accident, but listen guys, it was a big deal and it was pretty awful. Sure, some people out there have it far, far worse than us, but when something disrupts your lifestyle so quickly and harshly, it's difficult to readjust. It's all good though. With the world being insane and having some really horrible people in it, we are extremely lucky to be thankful for so many things and so many people. I am so grateful for everyone's kindness and love and I hope as a favor to me, for my birthday, that you are all nice to each other. Tell someone they look pretty, or pet a dog, or tell someone what an awesome person they are. After all, it's not cool to be a dick. Nice people are the nicest. 

Here's to 37, ya'll.

So Long, Joe

Sitting front row for Steve Yzerman's 500th goal

 When I was in high school, I had to write a paper on my favorite place for one of my English classes. I chose to write about Joe Louis Arena. My dad (and Uncle & co.) had Red Wing season tickets the whole time I was growing up. When he started taking me to games it was like a whole new world opened up for me. A world of sportsmanship and heart and passion. So much passion. I loved walking into that arena, seeing everyone in their jerseys, the ushers handing out programs, people buying popcorn and beer, but most of all I loved opening the curtain to the rink itself and smelling the ice. There's nothing like that smell. That cool crisp, smack you in the face excitement of seeing your favorite players skate and pass a puck around. 

We sat in section 219 in the very last row. I suppose they would be classified as "nosebleed seats" to some, but not to me. I loved those seats with all my heart. We had no one behind us and the best view of the entire arena from where we were. The first thing I noticed about the place when the game started was how quiet it was. In between the "Let's go Red Wings!" and "Ozzie!" chants, you could actually hear the skates glide on the ice and the puck hit the players sticks and boards. Those sounds were like magic to me. And then we would score. When we would score, the place would go nuts. I would clap and hollar, and my dad would bang on the wall behind us, and everyone around our section, whether you knew them or not, would high five each other. It was glorious. 

No one celebrates like a Wings fan. 

I have been to countless games in that arena; NHL and college. Endured a plethora of "Osbad" jibes in that arena, seen two concerts, several fanfests and a few Joe visions and I cherish every single memory of every single experience. I used to come home from every game and write in my journal about how great my night had been and then talk to people at school the next day about how good (or bad) Chris Osgood had played. My dad thought he was just taking his daughter to a few games, but he was really creating a lifelong lasting memory and bonding experience that I would not give up for all of the Chris Osgood meet and greets in the world. 

After scoring his 500th goal

Through all those games and all those wins (with some heartache thrown in), all those Stanley Cups, all those stairs climbed (so many stairs), all those times of wishing I would just "happen" to run into Chris Osgood, smiling when they showed the orange hat guy, laughing (and maybe rolling my eyes a bit) when they would show Mo Cheese dancing in the aisle, saying hello to all the ushers, all those people mover rides, Joe Vision trips, and late nights... at the base of it all was a building. A meeting place for an entire Hockeytown to get together, have some snacks and a ginger ale or three, and take absolute joy and pride in a team that made them so happy. One rundown building where so many memories and stories were born, where people complained about the bathrooms and said it smelled of sweat and beer. A place for thousands of fans to call home for a night and cheer their hearts out for a team they love.

Chris Osgood (and Sergei Fedorov) during pregame warm ups

The new arena will be fancier and have a new name. I know some people hate what they chose to call it, but it's not about the name of the arena. It's about the memories built inside of it. It will house an entirely different sport and team along with our beloved Wings. It will have fun new food, better bathrooms and escalators(!). It will have an updated concourse and nice new digs for the players and staff, but it won't have the authenticity and heart of The Joe. Not yet anyway. It's up to us to make Little Caesars Arena just as special as our beloved Joe Louis Arena is to us. It will take some time, but fueled by the memories of the past 38 years, I think it's possible. 

Many many many thanks to my dad and my mom for always nurturing and respecting my love of hockey. Thanks to my dad for always picking the games I requested (my birthday and anytime we played the Islanders or the Blues after Osgood was traded) whether he wanted to or not, and to my mom for always writing them down for him (even though I'm sure he was made fun of by my Uncle and his friends when he showed up with a list. Ha.)

                                      So long, Joe. Thanks for the decades of memories.