Bookend

I've got some things to say but instead of starting this post off on a rant fest, I'll start it off with some fun stuff...

Much like the rest of the world, Jeff and I watched Hamilton last weekend. Full disclosure: I was not already a huge fan like most people were and to be honest, Jeff wanted to watch it more than I did. I was not against it, per say, nor did I dislike it, I just wasn't interested in it. I knew it was hugely popular and even though I didn't know a ton about it (other than you know... Alexander Hamilton), I have always thought Lin-Manuel Miranda to be positively delightful. That, combined with my love for musicals, encouraged me to watch it. Well, guess what? I LOVED IT. Especially Phillipa Soo. I think I'm pretty much in love with her at this point and "Helpless" is running through my head 24/7. It's a 3 hour production that did not feel like 3 hours by any means. The acting is phenomenal and the singing is extraordinary. The writing is outstanding and that pretty much sums it up. Watch it if you enjoy listening to absurdly talented people sing/rap/act, or if you just really love musicals. It is truly exquisite and if you're at all like me, you will then listen to the soundtrack on repeat and take all the Buzzfeed quizzes about which character you are because they pop up on our Facebook feed out of nowhere (creepy).

This is me sweating while in my happy place, listening to Hamilton and wearing a Harry Potter shirt

I'm Eliza by the way.

You're damn right I am.



Over quarantine I read 4 books:

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, who is also responsible for one of my all time most favorite books in the whole universe, The Night Circus. It was good and if you enjoy a deep, descriptive magical journey, you will enjoy both of those books.

The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald, which was a cute little book about starting a new life and breaking out of your comfort zone.

The Bookshop of Yesterdays by Amy Meyerson. This one was an excellent twisty story about family and books and scavenger hunts and I read it in a day. I loved it.

And last but most certainly not least, I read Little Women by Louis May Alcott. Boy oh boy, I adored this book. It just made me happy and made me want to hang out with the March sisters and "their boy," Teddy. I couldn't stop thinking about it after I finished it. I watched the movie from 2019, starring Jeff's number one crush, Saoirse Ronan (pronounced "sertia" like "inertia" !) and enjoyed it quite a lot and did my damndest not to get upset that they changed lots of things and left out some fun things.

Quarantine made me excited about gardening and growing herbs and vegetables and watching birds eat from our bird feeders. There is something so satisfying about planting this tiny thing and watching it grow and grow and grow. I'm about to have a TON of tomatoes, you guys! and zucchini! It's very exciting. We also had hummingbirds visit our feeder for the very first time this week.

Quarantine gave us the time we needed to get all of our books in order and it is absolutely glorious and everything I have ever wanted.

What can I say? I already loved my home, but covid has made me truly enjoy every aspect of it.
A silver lining in an otherwise traumatic time, I suppose.

Speaking of covid, let me get some things off my chest...

We are in the middle? The thick of? The midst? of a pandemic. A PANDEMIC.

Pandemic: (of a disease) Prevalent over a whole country or world. A WHOLE COUNTRY OR WORLD.

This is not something that is happening to only one person or thing. This is literally taking over the world. But even so, even if it was just happening to one person, wouldn't it STILL be awful? Wouldn't you want to reach out and do everything you could to help that one person? What if that one person was you? Or your mom or dad? Your grandmother? Your best friend? A friend of a friend of a friend? Wouldn't you, as a decent and respectable human being, WANT to protect that person? Isn't empathy embedded somewhere in all of our human psyches?

There is the most simple of solutions to slowing down the spread of this virus. Literally, SO SIMPLE.
Shut up, Sarah! I am so sick of hearing about this.
I will not.
I will not shut up about it because all of our lives are at risk. Mine. Yours. Your family and friends. Wear a damn mask. It is SO SIMPLE. It is not taking away your rights. It is not taking away your freedom. It is quite simply, a respectable thing to do. Like wearing shoes inside of a store so that your gross and stinky feet don't get the floors dirty, you need to wear a mask so that your breath and particles and GERMS don't KILL other people.
Why is that a bad thing? Why are we arguing about it? Your mask will protect my mother who is a cancer survivor. Your mask will protect my 95 year old grandfather (his birthday is tomorrow! Happy birthday, grandpa!)
Why does that make you angry? Why does protecting others make someone so angry?
It's about treating others with respect. I respect you, so I will do my best to protect you.

And listen. Fine. If being selfish is your thing, then cool. Don't wear a mask, but you are NOT allowed to go into a place of business that requires one (it's the law now, by the way. Go Whitmer!) and be rude to their staff. Or roll your eyes. Or heave a big sigh. And if you have done this, how dare you. Shame on you. We are all trying to do our jobs. We are doing our best to scrape out of this damn thing alive and to have a select few undo everything we have worked for is so goddamn discouraging and HEARTBREAKING. This thing is real. You want your lives back? You want to go to the gym? Or the movies? The solution is so simple...
Wear an f'ing mask.

See? This is why I started with happy things. I am exhausted and cannot believe that it is almost mid July and we are still arguing about this.

It all comes down to kindness. JUST BE NICE. I do not enjoy wearing a mask anymore than you do, but you know what? They are here to stay. They are going nowhere anytime soon. So, make it fun. Buy a cute one, buy a cool one, buy a funny one. Just like shoes, they are part of your wardrobe now, friends. 

I bought this one for my sister and I.
I am probably going to get this one too
Make it your own. Make it work. Make it SAFE

One more thing about pandemic etiquette... Don't go door to door. I don't want to deal with door to door sales people in regular times. I most certainly do not want to deal with door to door people in the middle of a pandemic. It's a terrible idea. Don't do that. Just don't do it.

I will bookend this post with a few happy things, okay?

The O'Scottahan Library

Show me your masks. Is it homemade? Is it fun? Is it a medical one? I want to see what they look like.

Here is Bryn showing how her favorite toy monkey is wearing her mask:

May the 4th!

Hi.

Happy Star Wars Day, all!

I'm sitting on my couch, watching a Star Wars marathon on TBS, while wearing a Star Wars shirt and typing on Charley's old busted laptop that I have taken over since he acquired his precious gaming computer and doing my best not to fall asleep. Because now that I'm not at work, all I want to do is sleep. All day long. I don't. But I totally could.

Last night was the season one finale of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist and it was a beautiful hour of entertainment, family, love and heartbreak. I cannot say enough good things about this show. When I first saw the preview for it, I was worried it would be too Glee-like. Not because I disliked Glee, I didn't. It's just, we've already had a Glee. But this show. This show is so clever and so creative and goodness, it just makes me so damn happy. Jury is still out on whether or not it will be renewed for a season 2. I was trying so hard not to get attached to it, but as the episodes went on, I couldn't help myself. I need this show to be renewed. In a world where everything is falling apart, it is truly one of the few bright spots keeping me afloat right now. Every actor on this show is exploding with talent and deserves to be seen and heard again. The episode last night ended with one of the most perfect sequences/scenes/performances I have ever seen on television. And no, that's not me exaggerating. Take a look and see for yourself... but you know, have some tissues with you because. Tears.

Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist-- American Pie

Jeff and I started watching WACO on Netflix. I don't know why. We were just chatting about it and what we remembered from that time. My most vivid memory from that whole event was being in 7th grade and my mom letting me stay home so we could have a shopping day. I remember hearing on the radio while we were out, that the compound was on fire but didn't really understand a whole lot about it at the time. It's kind of eye opening to watch the show. Dude was absolutely, one hundred percent crazy but the entire operation was so insane. And sad. And seemed super unnecessary? It freaks me out a little bit. It's probably one of the reasons why I have been having crazy dreams lately.

Last week Josh Gad reunited THE ENTIRE CAST of The Goonies, including Steven Spielberg. It was so cool to watch. He has been teasing all week that episode 2 (which comes out Monday, May 11th at noon) will be Back to the Future !!

Here's the Goonies reunion in case you missed it: Reunited Apart

Have any of you been to Starbucks since the whole stay at home order started? Starbucks is HOPPING, let me tell you. My last day of work I stopped there because I wanted something to cheer me up after the absolutely surreal and sad feeling of walking out of the building, not knowing when I would see my coworkers again. I went to the one on Middlebelt, across from Meijer. The line was wrapped around the building and overflowed out onto the drive way leading up to Menards, L O L. I had pre-ordered/prepaid in the mobile app but still had to wait in line because the lobby was closed. Which, was fine, but I was cracking up at all the cars. For coffee. I mean, I GET IT, people. I do. If I hadn't prepaid would I have waited in that line? Probably not, but to be honest, WHAT ELSE DID I HAVE TO DO?? So, I totally understand it. If there isn't much that is brightening your day right now and a delicious coffee from Starbucks will do the trick, you go wait 45 minutes to an hour in that line. I SUPPORT YOU. COMPLETELY.

When Jeff showed me the Devin Scillian video of him singing The Rainbow Connection (and making me cry) it got me thinking about my most favorite songs of all time. I asked him if he could name 5 songs that he thinks are the best songs ever and he couldn't do it. It's a difficult thing, I know, but I would put The Rainbow Connection on that list. Along with The Tragically Hip's Ahead By a Century and Howie Day's Collide. Maybe Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles? That's about as far as I got. I don't even know what puts those songs on my list, other than they resonate with me and hit me in a way that most songs don't.

Here is the Devin Scillian video with a bonus Kermit video to go along with it because two is better than one and if you're already crying watching the one, why not keep it going?!

Devin Scillian- The Rainbow Connection
Kermit the Frog- The Rainbow Connection

Last week while scrolling facebook, I saw Stephenie Meyer's name pop up in regards to a virtual cast reunion for a movie she produced back in 2013, called Austenland. The movie was based on the book by the same name, written by Shannon Hale, about a girl who goes on vacation to a Jane Austen inspired retreat. It was a lovely book and a very enjoyable movie, starring Keri Russell (whom I adore), and I must have liked the fansite back in the day for it to be popping back up onto my newsfeed. Anyway when I saw Stephenie Meyer's name, I thought to myself, "there's a name I haven't heard in awhile" and didn't really think much of it. Then a few days later, a Twilight fansite that I used to follow showed up on my feed with a countdown clock from Meyer's website, saying they had no idea what it was, only that it was legit. I, being the Twilight nerd that I am, scoped it out for myself and immediately texted my soulmate Dawn. We decided that it was probably just going to be some dumb new book about mermaids and told each other that we were NOT going to put anymore thought into it... until the countdown clock ran out and then, you know, whoever found out first had to tell the other right away. Completely normal and sane things for two thirtysomethings to discuss. To be honest, I had completely forgotten about it. I didn't really give it a second thought until Entertainment Weekly posted what it was that she was about to promote. You guys, she's releasing Midnight Sun-- The story of Twilight told from Edward's perspective. After all this time. After all these years. After she was so pissed that someone leaked the first few chapters online without her consent and basically vowed to never release it, she's releasing it. I couldn't help it, I got excited... and of course, immediately texted Dawn, which lead to a phone call where we pretty much just kept laughing and saying "why?? why now?? WHY?". It's just odd and at such a weird, random time. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M NOT GOING TO READ IT. Forget about the silly novellas that she released instead and the dumb retelling of the story where all the characters genders were switched (YES. That really was a thing). Forget about how the idea of Twilight and Midnight Sun is the reason why Fifty Shades of Grey exists (that's true, by the way. I'm not just making that up. I promise). I'm going to read it because as a devoted Twilight fan, who has spent many an hour reading/thinking/watching those stories, I deserve some closure and when it comes down to it, why the hell not?! WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE GOING ON?! Oh, and it comes out August 4th, by the way.

How is everyone doing these days? My days are all blending together. I miss my co-workers and I miss working up patients. I miss my mom and dad and want more than anything to get a good Tom and Carol hug. I miss not feeling so freaked out and exhausted all the time. I miss going to bookstores and going to get ice cream on a spur of the moment thought. I miss seeing my family. I miss not feeling so panicked when we start to run out of something at the house. I miss eating greek salads from Leo's on our lunch break at work. I just miss life, I guess. But I know this is all for a good reason and so, I will continue to hole up in my house with my dog and these dudes that I love with all my heart.

I guess, I just really wish this never happened.

What are you guys watching these days?
Can you name your top 5 best songs of all time?
Do you want to make fun of me over the Twilight stuff? It's okay. You totally can. I make fun of myself.

Wear your masks. Read some books. Bake some stuff. Listen to some music. Create some fun things.

Stay safe.

Stress Awareness Month

While doing my daily ritual of perusing social media, I noticed a post that mentioned National Stress Awareness Month (it was a Crayola ad LOL). I did a google to see if this was a thing and turns out, it is. Stress Awareness Month has been held every April since 1992. During the month, healthcare professionals and experts across the country do their part to raise awareness about the causes and cures for our modern stress epidemic.

How fascinating that it coincides with this pandemic.

Now, as of last Friday, I am officially furloughed until further notice. As stressed as I was at work, I just feel this deep deep sadness. Sadness for the state of the world. Sadness for our country (oh good God, don't get me started on what has been taking place across our country recently). Sadness for all the sick people and their families. Sadness for all the people hurting right now. Sadness over the absolute uncertainty of everything. Just sad. I know this is all temporary, and as a very wise and very good friend of mine keeps reminding me, we can do anything temporarily. THIS is temporary. THIS will not last forever. I don't know what the new normal will be like when everything gets back up and running, but I do know that every single one of us HAS to do our part right now to keep us safe to get to that new version of normal in the future. Stay home. Temporarily. Keep you and your loved ones safe. Your hair will only be wonky temporarily. Our lawns will only be overgrown temporarily. Your boats will still be there when this is done. This is a horrible situation that is no one person's fault. No one wanted this. Not one single person. As another very wise and very good friend of mine keeps saying, we are all victims of corona.

Hang in there a little longer. Please. It's so hard to disregard these rules and regulations if you aren't seeing how bad things are first hand and if you aren't personally affected by the virus. Believe me, it's bad. It's excruciating and heartbreaking and I have had more than one person I know experience tragedy from it. So please, sit tight a little longer. Stay home and bake bread a little longer. Enjoy the time with your families a little longer. Consider yourselves lucky if you haven't experienced any heartache from this and remind yourself this is temporary.

Other things!

- Jeff suggested we have a movie night with Charley last weekend and hang out on our new pull-out couch in the living room for the evening. Charley chose the movies and we had popcorn (courtesy of me and my trusty Whirly-Pop) and soft pretzels (courtesy of Eastern Standard Provisions) and Coca Cola. We had a lovely time watching Onward with Chris Pratt and Tom Holland, as well as Ferris Bueller's Day Off (C's pick. No kidding). So fun to watch an old timey movie with Chuck and see him truly enjoying it and belly laughing at it. Made me happy.

- You guys, the cast of Chuck got together last Friday and did a live virtual table read of one of their episodes (Chuck Vs. The Beard) and it was DELIGHTFUL. I cannot even express how fantastic it was. I smiled so much that it made my face hurt. They raised money for a good cause but also threw a ton of happiness out there to a lot of people who haven't experienced any in a long time. Here's the link if you have an hour to kill and miss that show as much as I do: Chuck Vs. The Beard

- Confession: I am more comfortable in jeans than I am in leggings. I keep seeing a lot of memes about people quarantining in jeans and that there must be something wrong with us. Truth is, I feel real weird in leggings. They make me feel like I am naked. So, I stick with my jeans. After all, I am truly a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal.

- We painted our living room and hallway. We wanted to do this before we even moved in but there was a huge catastrophe with the moving company (they cancelled on us while we were waiting for them to arrive) and it just never happened. We ran out of time and motivation. Well, we have had lots of time, so we got it done and I love it so much. We will start on Charley's room sometime this week.

- While Charley and I were taking Bryn for a walk yesterday, we saw a drive by birthday parade for one of our neighbors. It was about 10 cars long and they were all honking and had signs and bullhorns and it was just the coolest thing. A few of them shouted to us how much they loved Bryn and that made me smile so much, which eventually lead to me tearing up and starting to cry because you guys, I am just an emotional wreck these days, but mostly it made me cry because it makes my heart so happy to see people go out of their way to make other people happy. Charley promptly rolled his eyes and told me to knock it off, while laughing at me, of course.

- Does anyone else find it strange when you have to do normal, every day life things these days? Like doing laundry, or paying bills or studying for a test? Life is so not normal right now, so it is so bizarre to me when I have to do something that used to be so mundane before. Now it seems odd.

- Circling back around to National Stress Awareness Month, there is an account on instagram called The Quarantine Coloring Book that different artists from all over contribute to and you can print the pages out and do what you want with them. I printed a few out for Chuck and myself.

Anyone have any good recipes for peanut butter that they want to throw my way?
Anyone have any good book suggestions that they want to throw my way?

I hope you are all managing okay and staying safe and taking care of yourselves. No matter how dark your days get and how sad you get about our current situation, please remember that this is only temporary and that by staying home, we are preventing things from getting worse in the future. Cook something great, bake something fantastic, color, write, read, exercise, play a game, facetime or house party your friends and family. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourselves entertained and keep the stress at bay. I'm the first to admit that I am all over the place with this-- and that is okay too. Have a good cry (it's so therapeutic!), be sad, be mad.

Just stay home.

Excoriation

If there were a contest for world’s best picker, (face, lips, fingers) I would win the gold medal. Ever since I was a kid, I have picked my lip and my fingers. Relatives and close friends/coworkers constantly telling me to stop. Most of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I always thought it was just a habit at the very least, or at most, a nervous thing. After doing some research on the google (and everything on the internet is true, you guys), it turns out that this is an honest to goodness condition. Excoriation, also referred to as chronic skin-picking or dermatillomania (say that ten times fast) is characterized by repeated picking at ones own skin. It is commonly related to obsessive compulsive disorder and mental illness. Apparently 1 in 40 people have this (or body-focused repetitive behaviors).

Almost 40 years old and I find out my thing is an ACTUAL THING. Which totally explains why these days I absolutely cannot stop picking my face. My skin does not like having to wear masks all day every day while at work and I don’t like that my skin doesn’t like it and so round and round we go in this stupid circle. I’m trying to stop it, but you know- stress. 

Real quick rant: 

Our neighbor keeps having his buddies over to drink beer and stand around his campfire. They attempt to stand 6 feet apart. I guess I appreciate the effort, but do you know how frustrating it is to work all day at a medical facility, wearing a mask, wearing gloves, sanitizing my hands and everything around me 447 times throughout the day, worrying if I’m bringing something home to my family, only to see my neighbors not obeying the whole stay at home order? It’s so frustrating. It’s like a slap in the face to all essential workers. It needs to stop. 

Please stay home. 

Dudes, just stay home! 

End rant. 

Happy things!

• John Krasinski’s Some Good News show on YouTube. He’s been uploading new episodes Sunday evenings. I adore him and them. They make me SO happy. 

Some Good News

• Joanna Gaines has a new cookbook! I cannot wait to get it because I love her. I have her first cookbook and it’s so so good. One day I will go to Texas and visit all of hers and Chip’s businesses and drink coffee and eat cookies at their bakery. Magnolia Table, volume 2

• Zach Braff and Donald Faison have a new Scrubs rewatch podcast! Fake Doctors, Real Friends

• Reese’s peanut butter eggs. All day, every day!

• Shipt!! I cannot thank those Shipt shoppers enough. We placed an order for groceries last Saturday around 1130pm and it arrived Monday evening around 730pm. My shopper was so great. She communicated with me and dropped all the bags off on the porch and then let me know when she was done. So so great. 

• Vanilla sweet cream cold brew from Starbucks. It’s so good and the closest thing to an iced fudge ripple that I’ve been able to find. 

• Lego Masters- Wednesdays at 9pm on Fox. Will Arnett is the host and it’s a lot of fun and he makes me laugh. The finale is next week! Lego Masters

• Charley started watching LOST and refers to Locke as “the magic grandpa” LOL

Try to have a happy Easter weekend, everyone. A lot of people are missing traditions and family dinners and brunches. A lot of people are going through a really hard time for one reason or another right now. Try to make whatever you end up doing memorable and fun and full of love! I’m going to attempt to make my parents chicken paprikash recipe. It was my favorite as a kid and I’m a little nervous about it. It could end up being a disaster or maybe it will be delightful! There’s always chocolate to fall back on if it turns out real gross. Ha!

Anyway, still trying real hard to stay positive. Writing here helps a bit, so if you enjoy reading my blatherings or if you’ve tried some of my suggestions or enjoyed yourself some Reese’s peanut butter eggs, I just want to say thank you. Clearly, it is a really awful time and we are all processing it in different ways and I truly appreciate you all bearing with me and my ranting. One of these days my posts will be filled with ALL happy things. Until then, we will get through this by staying home and trying to help each other. 

Also, tell me how to stop picking! K, thanks!

Give me some good things happening in your lives!

Perspective

I know a lot of people struggle with anxiety. Some of you may not know this, but Charley has struggled with it for a very long time. It’s so extreme at times that it practically paralyzes him when he’s in the moment. He has been learning coping mechanisms over the last few years and seeing a therapist (whom he adores) but through trying to help him readjust his ways of thinking, I’ve had to consider the fact that a lot of the anxiety he feels could be because he’s feeding off of me. I’ve never been one to have panic attacks but lord, I  have seen plenty of the people I love experience them. I’ve gotten pretty good at trying to bring some calm and quiet to those that have come to me when they’re anxious but I am realizing that while I may not have panic attacks, I have been living in a constant state of anxiousness. Maybe that’s the new norm these days? 

It’s been a weird week this week (but really, what isn’t weird these days?). I’ve had to really take a look at myself and try to figure out why/how I’m responding to this whole situation. I know there is so much right now that we cannot control, so I have been trying my damndest to let things happen as they’re going to but I don’t think I’m doing as good of a job with that as I originally thought. I think I’ve bottled up a lot of my fears and worries and anxieties and that’s probably not the best thing. I’ve been thinking of the worst possible outcomes for everything when I should probably be focusing on the positives. It’s easier said than done. There aren’t a ton of positives in the world right now, but maybe if we (*I*) try to focus on a few each day then it will make the trudge through this pandemic a little easier? I don’t know. Maybe it won’t, but it’s worth a try??

Last weekend I was whining to Jeff about the weather. I told him it felt like the universe was punishing us by giving us crappy weather when our only outlet was to go for a walk outside. His response? “Maybe it’s the universes way of trying to keep us safe and telling us we need to stay in our homes”. It’s all about perspective, people. You and only you are in charge of the way you see and comprehend a situation. You can choose to look at the negatives (much like I have been doing lately) or you can choose to see some good. Any good at all and it makes a world of difference. 

Some things making me happy right now:

• SUNSHINE! You guys. It is GORGEOUS outside today. 

• Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

 I love this show so much. Every time it ends I say to Jeff, “I love this show. It’s going to get canceled”. It is so funny and clever and heartwarming and just plain entertaining. Shows that are rich in all of those things usually don’t last for very long. It reminds us a lot of a show we used to watch in 2008 called Eli Stone, that only lasted 2 short seasons. If you are a fan of singing and cleverness and Lauren Graham, check it out. Also, Jane Levy, the star of the show, is phenomenal. 

• I ordered a new coloring book from Amazon. It’s a Beatles one. I’m very excited to start working on it. 

•This video of a little girl trying not to hurt her mom’s feelings made Charley and I laugh so hard. We watched it about 47 times in a row last night. 

• Potbelly has introduced something called Potbelly Pantry where you can buy their meats, breads, cheeses etc to make your own meals at home. You can order and pick it up or they will deliver it. I thought that was really neat. 

• A few people have posted about making a COVID Time Capsule. I think it’s such a neat idea. Here’s the link to the one circulating: time capsule,or I suppose you could get real creative and make your own from scratch?? I’m going to make Charley do one with me. I’ll post it later. 

• Charley and I started playing Animal Crossing. I haven’t gotten to do too much with it just yet but I will play more this weekend. (I made a succulent though and I was very happy about that!)

• Reese’s peanut butter eggs 

• Seeing my dog lay in the sun again

• We saw a bunny on our walk today! When we lived on Camden, our street was FULL of bunnies. We would count them every night we took a walk. We miss that about our old house. We were thrilled to see a bunny hop in front of us this afternoon! 

• When I was in high school I used to write in a journal every night. Every. Single. Night. It was so helpful and therapeutic for me. It helped me get through a lot of hard times. Now would be a great time to start journaling. There’s so many different ways to do it nowadays; good ol’ fashioned writing, blogging (ha!), bullet journaling, or you could even download a journal app (which I ended up doing and really like). 

• If you feel like helping your healthcare workers and doctors and nurses out, you can donate food or snacks or care packages to them while they’re working. I know they would appreciate the love and support. You can send cards and letters to patients admitted into the hospitals and you could do the same for your seniors in assisted living and nursing homes. Put some smiles on people’s faces. Everyone could use a smile these days. 

A few questions:

Teacher friends and family, with school being more or less canceled for the remainder of the year, how can we help our kids?? I’m struggling hardcore with this right now. How do I get my kid back on a routine of daily learning when I am not a lesson planner (and I still have to go to work every day)? What are some good advice, tips for us that we can do? Right now I am just trying to get Charley to check his school email every day without giving me an eye roll and a heavy sigh. (Tweens are FUN!)

• What is everyone doing to stay entertained these days? How are you coping with your stress/anxiety? What are you cooking?? What are you baking?? What has been your favorite quarantine snack so far??

Give Me Something Good

It’s been a very long time since I put any writing out there. Being swamped with work and moving and trying to get the new house in order. I sometimes forget how much it clears my mind and makes me feel better. I’ve been so sad and so stressed and so exhausted (we all have) I needed an outlet. I haven’t been able to read because I cannot get my brain to quiet. I haven’t been able to binge any shows because I can’t concentrate long enough to get invested. I cannot organize and clean because I am just not into it. I’m constantly checking my phone, but less for news and more for happiness and to check on everyone. I need smiles. I need laughter. I need heartwarming. I need hope. 

I am terrified for my sister in law and friends and family who have to face this head on every time they go into work. They are doing everything they can and some people are just not listening. I’m torn between being grateful to still be able to go to work and also being scared of going to work. Though it helps when I’m there with such wonderful people who are supporting each other through this madness. 

After a really nice night watching a movie with Jeff, I did the worst thing I could do (let’s be honest... I’ve been doing it every night) and checked my phone before going to bed. Reading all about the awful exchange between that horrible man and the governor. This isn’t about who’s being nice to who. This is literally about life or death. Thousands and thousands of people are dying and he is more concerned with who is giving him credit and who is praising him. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t watch him anymore. I wish they would stop showing his “task force updates” because they are harmful and enraging and completely useless. He only likes to hear himself speak. Just shut up and help your people. That’s all you have to do. Have some god damn compassion and give the country some god damn reassurance. Fuck. 

Sorry but not really because I’m so sick of it. 

Ok. Enough with that. I need happy things to keep my head above water. 

None of us know what we are doing and we are all exhausted. I’m so angry  and i’m so tired and every single thing makes me cry (poor Jeff). I crave happy content. I crave creative content. I crave kind content. Anything that gives me even the smallest spark of hope; Give me it. 

Here are some things that have been helping me get through this nightmare in no particular order:

•Chef Michael Symon is doing a daily 5pm cooking class with ingredients from his pantry. He posts all the recipes and alternatives on his instagram so you can do the same with whatever you have in your pantry. 

•Jason Priestley and his wife have been posting what they’re making every night for dinner with the hashtag carbskillcovid, which I love. Because carbs. 

•Ben Folds is streaming a live concert tomorrow at 9am. I’m setting my alarm on a Sunday for this. 

•Brady smith (Tiffani Thiessen’s husband) is doing a daily 30 second drawing challenge on Instagram and taking requests from kids. It’s so cute. 

•Livonia has a weekly scavenger hunt for kids to look for hearts, helping hands, bears etc. in windows when out for walks every day. 

•Chalk art. Some of the chalk drawings being posted are seriously phenomenal. It makes me smile every time I see it 

•Going for walks with bryn and seeing how happy it makes her 

•When charley joins us for walks

•Watching movies/tv with Jeff 

•FaceTiming my parents 

•My tech leaders, Sarah and Eileen. I can’t say enough about them. Working their asses off (on days off too no less) in the middle of all this chaos and maintaining a calm and positive attitude through it all. If you ask me about them in person (6ft away of course) I’ll cry. I’m so grateful for them. I can’t say it enough. 

•Jeff’s manager, Sarah (and my friend) who has worked endlessly to keep her employees engaged, entertained and SANE during their off time. She is an inspiration 

•Harry Potter marathons

•Coffee. So much coffee being had. 

•My sunroom. Just a room with windows, but my god does it make me happy

•The late night hosts doing mini shows from their homes; Jimmy kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. It makes me so happy to see them trying to provide people with just the smallest amount of normalcy right now

•Cookies. I’ve always enjoyed making my cookies for other people but last night I made one batch for us and that made me happy 

•Giant cookie pans to bake my cookies. I bought some a few weeks ago and I love them so much

•Delivery services and Door Dash 

•Food network app (a lot of food things on this list, I know, but aren’t we all just eating all the time??) 

•Charleys teachers checking in with him online 

•Reeses peanut butter eggs

•Checking in with my brother and sister as much as I can. All of us are stressed in different ways but it’s so helpful to talk/text with them

•Checking in with former coworkers to see how they’re doing 

•MOD is offering free delivery all weekend 

•Coloring. It’s one of the only things that I can do to distract my brain. I’ve been printing off sheets online because my adult coloring books are still in boxes. I will take what I can get at this point

•Animal videos. Oh my god, the amount of dog and animal accounts I follow on Instagram and Twitter right now is ridiculous but it’s also super super great

What is helping you guys cope through this?? Let me know because what makes you happy might make me happy too. 

Movies jeff and I have watched so far: Yesterday (loved it and rewatched it the following day)

Knives Out (so good. So clever)

Once upon a time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino is a weirdo but it was entertaining)

Take a break from the news. Don’t listen to what the president is saying. Listen to the doctors and nurses. Listen to THE GOOD stories. Listen to the people in the thick of it and HELP THEM. Listen to the people who know what they are doing!! Donate if you can, volunteer if you can. Be nice to those grocery store workers and carry out places who are also risking their lives to give you those essentials every day. Whatever makes you happy, do that. 
Send some love to my sister in law, Rhonda, for working her ass off:

Thanks for putting up with my worries and my fears and my frustrations. As crazy as social media can be, I think we are all pretty damn thankful for it right now. 

Happy links:

Michael symon instagram: https://instagram.com/chefsymon?igshid=pjywggifn4j8

Brady smith Instagram: https://instagram.com/bradysmithhere?igshid=10prsij3dpxel

Jimmy Fallon: https://instagram.com/jimmyfallon?igshid=170jku67jy88m

Jimmy kimmel: https://instagram.com/jimmykimmel?igshid=3idjhw5fvt7

Detroit zoo live feeds: https://detroitzoo.org/penguins-live-cam/  https://www.clickondetroit.com/features/2020/03/18/watch-live-otters-swim-play-at-detroit-zoo/
Livonia weekly scavenger hunts:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/2793472040772761/?ref=share

Stay home. Stay safe. 

Give me something good. 

Crushing

Quick note: Haven't blogged in awhile and don't have the patience to try to fix whatever is going on with this weird color scheme, so whatevs, I apologize.

Childhood crushes are weird, aren’t they? You fixate on this person you see on television, or in a band or movie, (or book!) and you become obsessed. Watching them every week as if every performance they put on is just for you. Getting annoyed when you hear another girl has the same crush as you because YOU are their number one fan and no one else is. Knowing you’ll probably never meet this person, but also knowing full well that they would be madly in love with you if you did. 

As a tween, my room was covered in posters. Ask my sister; We shared a room and I very slowly took over her side of the room by removing the only poster she had put up by her bed (a pink poster of Maggie Simpson) to hang a picture of Chris Osgood, or Mike Vitar, or mark Paul Gosselaar, or of the 90210 cast, or Pearl Jam, or or Christian Slater.

I've had a weird couple of weeks with my childhood crushes as of late-

My very first crush was Peter Tork of The Monkees. When I was 6 or 7, they showed reruns of the show on Nick at Night and my brother and I were obsessed. For Christmas, I received a keyboard and an autograph book and Dennis wrote something about how I was going to be playing like Peter Tork in no time (I never did). I thought Peter was adorable and goofy and he had the cutest hair. Because I was a child, I didn’t realize that I was watching a 20 something Peter in reruns and that the actual Peter Tork was in his 40’s, but it didn’t matter. He was silly and cute I adored him. His passing a couple weeks ago brought back a plethora of memories of my first concert, having our own Monkees concerts in our living room on a Saturday night and putting glittery heart stickers around his face on my Monkees albums. It makes me sad that he’s gone but I really do have the best memories of loving him. 

Motor City Comic Con announced that Mark Paul Gosselaar, AKA: Zack Morris, is going to be at Comic Con this May. You don't even realize how much I loved Saved by the Bell (or you probably do. At the time it felt like I was the only person in the world who watched it). I would rush home from school every single day to sit in my office (the couch) to watch reruns for hours and eat potato chips and drink Coke, all while staring googly eyed at Zack Morris. I was devastated when him and Kelly broke up like it was MY actual relationship. When he took her to prom in jeans and a sweatshirt and danced with her outside even though she didn't have the money to buy a dress? Swoon. This is the first time I have actually considered paying the absurd amount of money they charge at these things for a photo op. I'm still debating. I feel like I need to do it. Tween Sarah would be so pissed at 38 year old Sarah if she didn't, right?

This past weekend it was announced that there is supposed to be a television version of The Sandlot with the original cast (MIKE VITAR!) set in the 80's. When I was 13, my best friend and I sent a care package full of love letters and poems and a (her) bra to Mike Vitar. I'm sure he didn't think we were crazy at all. Right? I still remember walking up to the post office and mailing the box. We were so giddy about that box. We totally thought it would make him fall in love with us. 

Speaking of tween Sarah...As I became a tween and 90210 was all the rage, I struggled with whether it was cool to like it or not. I secretly loved the show but didn’t want anyone to make fun of me for liking it... even though EVERYONE loved it at the time (tweendom is a weird time, guys. Lots of things going on in your head that don’t make sense.) Anyway, I had 90210 shirts and calendars and buttons and folders and a pillow with Dylan McKay’s face on it. I eventually decided that Brandon was my favorite because Dylan was a bad boy and he drank and did drugs and the worst thing Brandon did was gamble... except for when that tramp Emily Valentine secretly slipped him some E and he got high, but that wasn't his fault! (Hey, they didn’t call me goody two shoes in school for nothing!) Bad boyness aside, there was no denying how handsome Luke perry was and as angry as I was at him for breaking Brenda’s heart; “I hate both of you! Never talk to me again!”, I knew he was the one who truly belonged with Kelly (Brandon belonged with Susan Keats and in my mind, they eventually got back together after she left him for that job in Washington DC and broke his heart). Seeing Luke pop up over the years in movies (Buffy the vampire slayer) and videos (The Killers) and the hallmark channel (Love in Paradise) and eventually on my beloved Riverdale as Archie’s dad, Fred Jones, made my heart happy. He was so good on Riverdale. So. Good. He was my favorite part of the show (along with Jughead) and I loved seeing him be the father figure to Archie. I once again looked forward to watching him on my television every week. 

It’s not fair that he was only 52. It’s not fair that his family has to endure this. It’s not fair that the generation who grew up with him all feel like part of their childhood has died. It’s not fair that this new generation of kids and adults who just rediscovered his talents have to go on without him now.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.

Pop culture is this fantastic escape for us. This alt reality where we turn our brains off for an hour or two (or 6) every night. We relate to these characters who don’t actually exist and root for them like they are our best friends. We invest our time in them and don’t necessarily expect anything in return, other than to be entertained. And when that escape turns real and we lose those people or those characters it’s so hard to process. We don’t know these people but we feel like we do and we are devastated just the same when they are gone. It sucks you guys. It sucks.

A few years ago Carrie and I held a Facebook poll: Dylan McKay or Brandon Walsh? If I remember right, I think Carrie won. And now, I will take this time (many years later) to graciously concede my defeat. Dylan McKay was superior to Brandon Walsh.  

I mourn with all of you out there today. He was too young and it was too soon and damnit, it’s just not fair.

Go watch some 90210 reruns or Buffy the vampire slayer or ride a horse in remembrance of him. I don’t know how to watch Riverdale without him now. I’m so sad. It’s just so damn sad.