Crazy Random Happenstance

Billy: So good... Hey, this is weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?
Penny: I love it!
Billy: You're kidding? What a crazy random happenstance!
-Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Friday, November 18, 2011

"I'm not going to lie, Bells, you're hideous"

When Breaking Dawn (the book) was released on August 2, 2008, I went to the Midnight release party for it. I came home, read until 3am and then finished it the following evening. There was a point during my nonstop read-a-thon that I set the book down, looked at Jeff and said "there is no way. NO way they can make a movie out of this". See, I have always had mixed emotions about this particular part of the story. It is the most "out there" of all 4 books. Yeah, yeah, I know, you're thinking, "sparkly vampires and teenage werewolves aren't "out there", Sarah??" They are, I know they are but this book got weird for me. Basically, I adored the beginning, was completely annoyed throughout the middle part and somewhat letdown by the end of it. Not letdown in the sense that I thought it was terrible, just that I wanted it to be more. So, after seeing the first 3 films in the Twilight Saga, each one somewhat true to the book they were bred from, I wasn't quite as ecstatic for this particular one. Of course, I was excited, this time was just different.

Let me give you a (very) quick (rambling) rundown of the story of Breaking Dawn: Part 1: 
As always, here is your usual SPOILER ALERT... Bella and Edward get married, go on their honeymoon, do what people do on their honeymoons, she ends up pregnant, he flips out, they come home (with Edward hoping to get the "thing" out of her), she wants to keep the "thing" (her nudger, as she refers to it in the book), the werewolves lose their minds and say the demon baby is an abomination and immediately want to kill it, Jacob breaks from his pack to protect Bella, Bella endures the most disgusting labor in all the land, gives birth to Renesmee (it's a girl, for those non Twilighters out there), Jacob imprints on the baby (meaning, he loves it absolutely), Edward injects his venom into Bella (turning her into a vampire). Fade to black. To be continued....

Now, let me start off my Midnight movie experience by saying I am pretty used to these by now. They are chaotic, a little annoying and fun all at the same time. They make for super delightful people watching and bring out holes of the biggest kind, but they are always, always an experience. The Midnight release for Twilight was insane. People everywhere, selling merchandise, wall to wall tweens, shrieks... so much shrieking. New Moon brought out the werewolf fans, Eclipse brought out the "Team Edward", "Team Jacob" fans in FULL force and Breaking Dawn was just kind of there. Same old Twilight fans but a little bit quieter, I guess? Don't get me wrong, it was a big deal, people were excited but it just had a different feeling to it.

Dawn and I arrived at the theater at 10pm, stood in line for about a half hour and then they seated us. We saw a lot of dudes, which was surprising. We managed to seat ourselves in front of the loudest, most obnoxious ladies there ever was, saw a girl wearing a homemade shirt that had a picture of Edward kissing a very pregnant Bella's stomach (with the girl's face superimposed over Bella's) and watched a woman who was walking around with her leather jacket stuffed into the back of her pants, to make her butt look bigger. I know. I don't get it either, this is just what we witnessed. While waiting for the movie, we played LIFE on Dawn's ipod touch (I was a married mechanic/athlete with twin girls and one boy) and discussed whether or not we were too old to be attending these events anymore.

The movie started. We giggled. Aaaaand giggled. If you have ever been unfortunate enough lucky enough to attend a Twilight movie with Dawn and I, you will be well aware of the fact that we cannot watch these movies silently. If you hate people who whisper/discuss things throughout the movie, then my friend, we would be your enemy. It's how we process what is happening on screen. Quite frankly, it's just what we do and it makes for the most fun ever.

Ok, I know i'm rambling here, but before I get down to the nitty gritty of the  movie, I want to start out by saying Kristen Stewart has grown leaps and bounds since Twilight. Leaps. And. Bounds. She has gone from a sputtering, awkward, grunty, scrunchy faced actress to an almost flawless one. It's kind of astonishing how much better she has gotten.

Just like with the book, I adored the first part of the movie. The wedding scenes were pretty spot on and Kstew and Robert Pattinson looked amazing. Bella's dress, hair, makeup were almost exactly how I had pictured it in my head while I was reading the book. The set for the wedding was gorgeous. They added a small scene, where some of the guests give speeches to Bella and Edward and that was one of my favorite parts. Billy Burke (Charlie Swan) kills it in those scenes. Isle Esme is beautiful and again, just as I pictured it. What I loved most about this whole part was how happy both Edward and Bella seemed. Duh, I know they are newlyweds but in every other movie they are so grumpy and tightly wound and stressed out. In this movie, they are almost smiling nonstop and I really, really loved that. A lot of the dialogue came straight from the book, which I appreciate so much. For the people that know the story in detail, as I do, they kept the scene with the fried chicken and I was happy about that. A small detail, yes, but it made me feel like they do appreciate the die hard fans by putting small things like that into the movie. Their happiness comes to an abrupt end when they realize that Bella is pregnant (for you haters out there, I don't know the details of how a vampire can impregnate a human girl but if you want specifics, click here and scroll down a bit).

As well as Kristen Stewart growing leaps and bounds, the production/makeup value has too. And I say this because they made the girl look hideous as pregnant Bella. She was super skinny and incredibly gaunt looking. She looked emaciated and completely like her baby was draining the life from her. Kudos to the makeup team! After Jacob stops by the Cullen house to see Bella for himself, he shifts into wolf form to tell the rest of his pack about the pregnancy. This is where the most giggling of all the giggling took place. This is where the movie seemed to take a turn for me. In the book, the wolves communicate telepathically with each other. They always know what the other is thinking. In this particular scene, there is so much  chaos and howling and growling and weird tones of voices going on that I thought I was going to have a panic attack. it was weird and kind of cheesy and honestly, it couldn't end soon enough for me. The people around Dawn and I probably thought we were crazy. Almost the entire middle section of the book takes place like this. Jacob in wolf form, communicating through his thoughts with his wolf buddies. Thank goodness, they didn't do it that way in the movie. Thank. Goodness. They condensed it, made it short and sweet and it helped move the story along just fine.

The part where Bella goes into labor is kind of horrifying. So much so that Dawn had her scarf pulled up to cover her eyes and I had my hands covering my face. She didn't "vomit a fountain of blood", as Stephenie Meyer describes it in the book (which is also the part where I told Jeff there was no way they could make a movie out of this) but she breaks her back in such a way that it was almost vomit inducing. Seriously. Ack. The Jacob-imprints-on-Renesmee scene is very well done, as well as the scene where Bella is basically transforming from human to vampire. Not only do they show the physical transformation as she is lying there, paralyzed from the morphine, they show her reflecting on her life with a really great montage of scenes from every movie. 

It ends really cool and if you think hard enough about it, my Twilighters, you'll be able to figure out the final shot of the film. Also, be sure to stay until the credits are done. There is an extra scene.

All in all, aside from a few things, I am happy with it. I can't give you a rating for it because I feel like these Twilight movies don't fall into a "rating" category. They are what they are and I appreciate them for it. Will I continue to watch them and make fun of them and giggle like a schoolgirl? Absolutely. But, that doesn't mean that I don't like them. I love that they bring the story that I love to life and I appreciate the actors for wanting to bring these characters to life, no matter how cheesy/whiny/silly they seem.

I surprised myself by feeling kind of sad that the movies are almost all done and I think that it has to do with the fact that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have done such a good job with Bella and Edward. They went from being almost cringeworthy to downright comfortable to watch. That makes me happy and I am really looking forward to seeing Breaking Dawn: Part 2 next November when it hits theaters.

Couple, miscellaneous tidbits:

-Yes, Jasper has yet another hairstyle.
- This is the prettiest Alice has looked out of all the movies.
- I challenge you to count the amount of blue clothing in this movie. Then report back to me.
- I teared up at the wedding scene just a bit. Seeing their smiles and hearing Iron & Wine's, Flightless Bird  was just perfection.
- Emmett is really funny.
- I just love Billy Burke.
- I wish the Cullen house was white on the outside.
- Jacob Black has such a whiny voice.
-Robert Pattinson is so so so very handsome.

Ok, friends. Let me know what you think after you see it! I'm curious to hear your thoughts.


  1. You forgot, "CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!"

  2. Oh yes, the sound of Edward chomping on Bella is so very soothing.....................