I'm Sookie Stackhouse, and I'm a waitress.

With the season 6 premiere of True Blood coming up on Sunday, I figured I should post my thoughts on the final book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I finished Dead Ever After a few weeks ago. I wanted to give people a chance to read it and I also wanted to process my thoughts on it a little bit before posting about it. I'll let you know those thoughts in a second, but first the obligatory spoiler warning.

Ahem.

*****SPOILER ALERT if you haven't read it yet and don't want to know any details about how it ends. Stop reading this post but come back and read it after you finish the book and then we can discuss it. Or just scroll down the page to where it says "What else?" *****

I have read this series twice. My favorite (like the majority of fans of this series) is book 4, Dead To The World (I may or may not have read that one more than twice... Maybe. Ok, I have.) where Eric loses his memory, Sookie has to protect him and they finally make sexytimes. My co-worker (what up, Nichole!) gave me the box set of the first seven books for Christmas years ago. I. Ate. Them. Up. I pretty much devoured all of them in a month. I love Charlaine Harris's writing style and how witty she made Sookie. She could read other people's minds but we got to see inside of hers and I thought that was so great. This seemingly ordinary girl is changed forever when she meets her first vampire. Oh, Vampire Bill. I think I liked Bill Compton at first. I always thought he was kind of mean to Sookie. He loved her, I suppose, but I always kind of felt like he treated her more like a kid than his girlfriend, woman, human, whatever. Needless to say, I was quite alright when they broke up. No biggie.

She had lots of other prospects in Eric, Quinn, Alcide, ERIC, Sam (who always seemed like an afterthought, even though you knew he liked her), E R I C. My point is, you knew she wouldn't be heartbroken over Vampire Bill for too long because for 9 books, it was pretty much shoved in our faces that she should be with Eric. Maybe "should be" is the wrong choice of words. It was written in a way where it really only made sense for her to be with Eric. And I loved Eric Northman. Oh, how I loved that Viking. Harris did a phenomenal job of getting her readers to fall in love with the Sheriff of Area 5. When they finally got together for real in the series is when things started to go south. Which, I guess makes sense from a storytelling point of view. You can't have your main character happy and in love the whole series because then there is no conflict but guys, you figured she would be with Eric always, right? Story after story was about them circling each other and eventually always coming back to one another.

Let me move on to some other stuff before we come back to Sookie's love life...

I'll just get this out of the way because it pertains to the TV show as well. I hate the fairy storyline. Sookie is a quarter fairy. A quarter. 1/4. As soon as they introduced her Great Grandfather Niall and changed her heritage, I was irritated. That whole entire part of the series felt to me like Charlaine Harris had a severe case of writers block and just decided to throw some fairies into the mix and see what happened. It never made sense to me. Her Great Grandfather (who was supposedly around to protect her) really only made her life more miserable. The only fairy worth talking about was Claudine because she had a purpose. She was Sookie's fairy godmother. SHE ACTUALLY PROTECTED HER, like she was supposed to. As far as I'm concerned Niall was a pointless character and only infuriated me every time he showed up in the story.

After book 7, All Together Dead (which I loved), the vampire politics got super wonky. Sophie Ann was basically out of the picture, and a bunch of Kings and Queens got blown up in the big explosion in New Orleans. So, that meant all the vampire regimes were being re-constructed. I guess. That's the best I can explain it. Eric had about 47 billion new bosses, all of which I would never be able to tell you their names because I could never keep them straight. All I know is this; he had new bosses which made things more difficult for him and Sookie to be together, which I guess was sort of explained but was explained very abruptly and weirdly. I mean, for a series that explains who Bubba is 3 times in one book (Dead Reckoning) THREE TIMES, I guess they felt we were not smart enough to remember who dead vampire Elvis is (even though we HAD BEEN READING ABOUT HIM FOR 11 BOOKS ALREADY) but definitely smart enough to remember who the entire hierarchy of vamps were in the Southern area of the United States.

Bitter much, Sarah? Nah.

Anyway, It felt to me like Charlaine Harris all of a sudden realized she was getting to the end of the series, needed Sookie to end up with someone she could actually grow old with so she created this bizarre storyline of having Eric's definitely dead maker, Appius Livius Ocella (say that three times fast) bind him into a contract of marrying some Queen whose name I don't even know because that's how little I cared. Oh fine, I'll go look up her name. Hang on...   I can't find her name (Natalie has my books, haha) but she's the Queen of Oklahoma. Whatever. Eric was barely in the final book. After 12 books of Sookie and him bantering/bickering back and forth, book 13 had nothing. Maybe a few sentences. Ooooookaaaay.

Going into this last book, I did not have high expectations. I was so disappointed with 11 and somewhat ok with 12, that I was prepared for anything or nothing at all to happen. I also figured with the way that she had obliterated the Sookie/Eric relationship and because of the fact that Sookie used the Cluviel Dor (you know, that ancient fairy object that no one was looking for until book 11 but then somehow EVERYONE knew about it and wanted it?) to save him, that she was bound to end up with Sam. Well, after the narration skipping all over in the beginning (which she had never done before so it was disconcerting at first), we find out that Steve Newlin is back and wants to kill Sookie. Along with Copley Carmichael (Amelia's dad) and Copley's assistant? Also, the devil all of a sudden has something to do with it? They try to frame Sookie for the murder of Arlene (Hey! Arlene's back! ...For a second). They don't succeed. Then they try to kill her. They don't succeed. In the meantime, she gets vampire-divorced from Eric and he moves to Oklahoma and is not allowed to have any further contact with her (End. Of. Relationship.) Bill tells Sookie that Eric told Sam not pursue her since he is no longer in the picture. Sookie put a stop to that. Sam tells Sookie he wants her (DUH), she tells him she wants to take things slow. They have sexytimes. All those dudes who wanted to kill her are dead. The end.

So, to round up that short, short recap; Eric is in Oklahoma. Bill redeemed himself by telling her something bad Eric did. No one (that we know of) is out to kill her. Sam and Sookie are together.

For the record, I am totally ok with her and Sam being together. I suppose it makes the most sense. He has always been there for her. They are partners in the bar. She can't read his mind completely. They can grow old together and she can have his babies. Also, Sam is a good guy. He has always loved her and always, always helped her out. I have never had any issues with him, so it was a decent ending. My favorite part of Dead Ever After is when Sam and Sookie are about to get down to sexytime business:

Sookie: You ready?
Sam: I've been ready for years.

I thought that was really sweet and totally summed up their relationship. It actually made me giggle out loud when I read it.

I just feel like Harris took an extremely roundabout way in getting to this point. Which, I guess is how it's supposed to be in a book series but there was SO much damn filler and so much stuff that didn't make sense to get here. For example:

• That fairy war. Why were they fighting again? And why did those two mean fairies torture Sookie so violently? Because of Niall. Again. Stand up guy, her great grandfather. So glad he was introduced to the series. Can't wait for him in this season's True Blood (Ugh.)
• Hunter. Someone, anyone, PLEASE, tell me the point of Hunter. Deceased Hadley had a son that Sookie never knew about. He could read minds, so Sookie tried helping him. That took up quite a bit of the last few books (except the last book, where he is mentioned once or twice). Why did that character even exist?
• Sookie and Eric were pretty much together on and off for 9 books. The series is 13 books long. That's a lot of Sookie and Eric time. That's a lot of story spent on building up their relationship only to knock it down with a couple sentences. I don't get it.

There is more, but I will probably think of them as I continue to reflect on the series and this blog post or if you start talking to me about it, I will start ranting about something else. But those are the main things that bugged me. 

Contrary to my snarkiness and rantiness (those are Sarah Words), I really do love this series. It is extremely flawed but I love the overall story and the feel of it. When you start reading a Sookie Stackhouse book, you feel like you are actually in Bon Temps, Louisiana. You feel like you are sitting in Merlotte's when Bill Compton comes in and asks for "a bottle of synthetic blood" and you feel like you are staring in awe at Eric with Sookie the first time she goes into Fangtasia. It's a good series and it has made me frustrated, it has made me laugh and it has made me really happy and I will always recommend it. Because that's what a good book series does. I'm not sad it's over but I will miss the characters. I know they will be alive (more or less) and well on my TV screen this weekend but I will miss the book characters. 

Good thing she is releasing --------------> THIS in October, I suppose. It will give us a better sense of closure. Maybe. 

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What else?

I read the first three books in the Beautiful Creatures series. I'm waiting for the 4th one to come out in paperback before I start it. I also watched the movie version of the first book. If you can call it that. I know you can't carry every single thing over from the story when it comes to book to movie adaptations but they changed the entire story. I was so furious, I was yelling at my TV the entire time and then by the end of it, I was so disinterested that I couldn't complain anymore. WHY would you decide to make a movie from a book because you like the story from the book and then change every single thing about the original story?!?! It makes no sense to me. Do it right or leave it alone. I don't even mind changes if they make sense. These changes made no sense at all! So very frustrating.

I finally watched Magic Mike. What can I say about it? Well, it's a movie... and Matt Bomer is really, really handsome. 

Do you guys realize that it has been 10 years since Dawson's Creek went off the air? I remember watching the finale with Jeff on our honeymoon. I loved that show so much. I was on the phone with Carrie when "A Winter's Tale" (the one where Joey and Pacey finally have sexytimes) aired. We were so enthralled by what was happening on the screen, neither one of us said a word until the commercial break.The main reason I wanted to get a DVR (when they were first coming out) was so I could record the reruns on TBS when they aired during the week. I would come home from work (this was pre-Charley, of course) and eat my dinner, while watching the episodes. I watched the show when it originally aired, of course but reliving it that second time around was much more fun. I knew that Joey and Pacey would eventually be together so I could endure all of Dawson's whining and cry faces. Once, while I was pregnant with C, I was watching the episode entitled "Promicide". You know that one, it's the one where Pacey is super mean to Joey at prom and they break up. I bawled. Of course, I knew it was going to happen. I had already seen it. But my pregnancy induced hormones sent me over the edge and I just couldn't handle watching Joey tell Pacey to go to hell. It made me so sad. But then there is always "Castaways". The episode where Joey and Pacey get locked inside of a Kmart. I never understood how they got locked inside but that's not the point. The point is, it is one of the cutest episodes in the history of television and I absolutely adore it. As you can see, I am 100% team Pacey Witter. I will support anything Joshua Jackson does because of this. So go celebrate this show by watching one (or all) of the episodes mentioned above. I believe they have it on Netflix but I could be wrong. Then we can discuss our favorite Creek moments together.

Also, watch this:

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson      

Has anyone ever tried that Air Curler thing that I always see commercials for? If so, tell me if it works. 

They should sell packages of just the bottom of the Sundae Cone. You know, the best part of the cone? Where the delicious chocolate is? Sell like 10 in a package. Genius.

Jeff and I need some suggestions as to where we can go for a short weekend trip in Michigan for our 10 year Anniversary. Not too far away and somewhere with a fun downtown area where we can walk around leisurely hand in hand. Ahhhh romance. 

How about that Game of Thrones season 3, eh??? I think that Daenarys is quickly moving up to Sydney Bristow territory on my most favorite TV characters list. I LOVE HER.

Here's to summer reading and watching TV, friends!